Cameron Gets a Virus
by Metropolis Kid
Summary: Cameron gets a computer virus and goes insane. If Cyborg can get one, why not a terminator? Please Read and Review. Thanks. Rated T to be safe.
1. Chapter 1: Why it Happened

Chapter one: Why it happened.

Disclaimer: I do not own Terminator. The movies, the series or even a personal one. But if I did, I would probably use it's tracking abilities to find out where my socks keep disappearing to. I have my suspicions, but I can't figure out what Darth Vader would want with them. And no, I don't own Star Wars either. Cameron will be out of character once she picks up the virus; but come on, that's why your reading right? At least I hope you're reading. Other wise I'm typing to myself. Hmmm, they say talking to yourself is the first sign of mental instability. I wonder what it means when you're typing to yourself.

Derek shouts, "She killed another one!"

John responds, "He was trying to bang her in a stair well!"

Sarah speaks up, "Okay, so the guy was a perv, but she didn't have to kill him. She didn't even have to go into the stair well with him."

John argues, "She didn't know what he was going to do!"

Derek replies, "That's the point. A normal, human girl would have known. The guy was undressing her with his eyes and said that they could have some fun in private." Derek isn't shouting anymore. He is being as calm as possible while he tries to explain to the future leader of mankind that the terminator is trouble.

Sarah says, "She can't keep killing people. Sooner or later someone's going to find a body. They're going to figure out she was involved and they're going to come after us."

His mom has a point, but John isn't going to get rid of Cameron for defending herself. "We hid the other bodies. We can hide this one."

Derek asks, "How many do you think we can bury in the basement? This isn't Arsenic and Old Lace."

John questions, "Arsenic and what?"

Derek answers, "It was before your time."

"I'm older than you." It's true, even if the man is his uncle.

"Yeah, but you've got cable, DVDs and the internet. In the future recreational items are rare. If you can find a movie that works, you watch it. Even if it's old and in black and white. Arsenic and Old Lace was your father's favorite when he was little. Well, that and Captain Power and the Soldiers of the Future."

Sarah cuts in. "We're getting off topic here."

That's Sarah, always focused. John has discovered that he can sometimes distract Derek, but his mom is another story. "I'll watch her better. She won't cause anymore problems." 'It sounds like I'm trying to convince them to let me keep a pet.'

Sarah and Derek look at each other. They seem unconvinced. "We need her." John adds. His uncle and mother shake their heads and let out a sigh. They know he is right. They do need the terminator. She is the only one they had who can stand toe to toe with the other terminators.

Sarah replies, "Okay, John."

"But she had better have permission the next time she kills someone." Derek adds.

Unknown to the humans Cameron's cybernetic hearing has allowed her to listen to the entire conversation from upstairs. John is always defending her, and she causes him so much trouble. She never means to. It just always happens that way.

For a machine built specifically to infiltrate human environments, she has a terrible time mimicking human behavior. Of course, the resistance did deleted all her infiltration subroutines when they wiped her memory and reprogrammed her.

She is always trying to reeducate herself. She spends her nights, her free nights anyway, reading any information she can find on human behavior and her days observing human interaction. But it just isn't going fast enough.

So, Cameron decides that tonight she will access the information online directly. It will be a lot faster than using the household computers. Cameron reaches out with her inherent wireless network abilities and taps directly into the house's ISP.

She begins downloading every file she can find on human behavior. To speed up the process Cameron suspends all her other systems and goes into the closest thing to sleep that a terminator is capable of. Her projections tell her that, by the next morning, she will have compiled over a hundred and fifty gigabytes of human information.

Now this may seem like a good idea, but there is a problem. In the future Skynet controls all the integrated computer systems and has eradicated all computer viruses. Well technically Skynet might be considered a computer virus, so maybe it's better to say that it wipes out all other computer viruses. Anyway as a result, terminators have very little anti-virus protection.

The next morning John wake up early. He wants to talk with Cameron before the rest of his family wakes. He goes into her room, but she isn't there. One problem with terminators is that they don't sleep. As a result Cameron is always difficult to find in the mornings. John never knows quite were his "sister" will be. He begins to search the house and finally finds her in the kitchen.

"Cameron, we need to talk."

Cameron spins around and John notices that she's wearing an apron. With sickeningly sweet voice, the terminator replies, "Yes John, what would you like to talk about?"

John is momentarily distracted. "What's with the apron?"

"I'm making breakfast. Please sit down." She flashes John a big smile.

"In minute. First we have to talk."

"We can talk while you're sitting." Her voice still has that sickeningly sweet quality.

John just stands there for a moment. He can tell that something is wrong with Cameron.

Cameron's voice changes from sickeningly sweet to calm and threatening. "Sit down."

John takes a seat. A worried expression begins to form on his face.

Cameron's voice goes back to sickeningly sweet. "Thank you ever so much."

Cameron puts a mixing bowl down in front of John. She sets the milk down beside the bowl and puts a spoon into John's hand. She walks around behind him and gives him a chaste kiss on the cheek. Then Cameron walks over to the cupboard and pulls out a can, while John rubs his cheek. Cameron walks back to John, who by now is quite stunned. A thoroughly confused John asks, "What's that?"

Cameron smiles. She holds the can against her cheek and displays the label. "A can of soup. A meal in itself." She positions the can over the bowl and squeezes. A tomato past pops out and enters the bowl. John gulps.

Cameron is still smiling as she pours the milk into the bowl and uses an egg beater to stir the soup. She does so too quickly, and more than half the soup spills out of the bowl and flies around the kitchen. Once she is done stirring the soup, Cameron reaches under the table and pulls out a welding torch.

John has a look of utter horror; okay make that shock and horror, on his face as Cameron ignites the torch. Luckily, she just uses it to heat up the soup. Cameron seems satisfied with her job. She grabs the milk and walks over to the refrigerator.

John looks around the room. It looks like someone exploded. John has no doubt that if his mom or uncle were to walk into the kitchen at this moment, they would assume that Cameron had killed again. And, with the way she's acting, John isn't sure if that would be a bad thing or not.

Cameron laughs "Oh, silly me. I almost forgot." She walks back over to John and adds a half a can of wiped cream to his soup. John's jaw drops open.

Cameron, as if finally noticing John's confusion, simply states, "Everything's better with toppings." She kisses him on the top of the head and ballets out of the room singing Zipadee Do Da. (No, I don't own that song either.)

(Well, I hoped you liked it. This first chapter wasn't very funny it was mostly just back story. Please Review. I have funnier ideas for the rest of the story. Next chapter: chewing gum wrappers, the family finds out what's wrong with Cameron and our favorite female terminator goes on a mouse hunt. The pour mouse has a very bad day.)


	2. Chapter 2: What Happened

Chapter two: What Happened.

A very nervous John tastes the soup. It's horrible, most likely due to the whipped cream. John decides that toppings _don't_ make _everything_ better. He looks over his shoulder. Cameron is still in the living room. Cautiously John picks up his bowl of soup and walks over to the kitchen sink. He is careful to keep an eye on the living room and make sure that he doesn't enter Cameron's line of view while he pours the soup down the drain.

Cameron had been so insistent that he sit down and have the soup that John doesn't want to risk her finding out the he didn't eat it. John leaves the bowl in the sink and walks into the living room. He sees Cameron sitting in a chair. She has her back to him.

Cameron asks, "How was the soup?"

John hesitates, only for a moment, before quickly responding, "Good! It was really good." He rubs his belly for extra emphases. The chair spins around, and Cameron is now facing John. John notices that she is staring intently at a pack of trident gum.

"I'm glad you liked the soup. It's the first time I've ever cooked anything."

"Um, Cameron?"

"Yes, John."

"What's going on?"

"I'm just doing some light reading."

"But... But that's a piece of gum."

"Yes, but Gene Hackman says that some people can unlock the secrets of the universe by reading the ingredients off of a chewing gum wrapper. (I'm not making this up. It's in "Superman the Movie") Why won't it work for me! Is it because I'm a terminator instead of a human?"

"I don't think that anyone can unlock the secrets of the universe by reading the ingredients off of chewing gum." John can't help but chuckle slightly.

Cameron starts crying. She has convinced herself that this is just one more way that she fails to blend in. "But Gene Hackman said."

John isn't sure why he does it; but when he sees Cameron in tears, something in him makes him put his arm around the girl. John's voice takes on a reassuring and authoritative tone. "Cameron, listen to me. I don't know who this Gene Hackman is, but no one can unlock the secrets of the universe with chewing gum." As soon as John says it, he has to fight back to urge to laugh at how ridiculous the statement sounds; but it does seem to comfort Cameron.

She stops crying. "There now, feel better?" Cameron nods. "Would you like to tell me what's really going on now? I mean you haven't exactly been acting like yourself this morning."

"I was just trying to learn how to fit in better. I heard the rest of you fighting last night. So I connected to the internet and began to download more information on humanity. I searched for history, psychology, mating rituals, random trivia, everything I could find about human culture. I downloaded it all into my CPU. I'm afraid that some of the information had harmful programs attached."

"Wait a minute. Do you mean to tell me that you've picked up a computer virus?"

"Not exactly. My internal diagnostic program detects 7,453 different software abnormalities, mostly originating from sites devoted to human mating rituals."

"You have 7,453 viruses!" John is absolutely shocked. Tears begin to form in Cameron's eyes again. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to snap. I was just surprised is all." Apparently, this new emotional Cameron will take some getting use to. 'At lest she didn't watch me to make sure that I ate my soup.' "Now an advanced system like yours must have some way to deal with software malfunctions."

"The only tool built into my system is a restore option, and my programming prevents me from activating it without your permission."

"Well if it will solve the problem, you have my permission."

"John Conner command override access accepted. I'm pleased to inform you that I will be back to factory defaults in ten minuets."

'So it's that simple all I had to do was give her permission and she can fix herself. In ten minuets she'll be as good as new. It's strange that she needs my authorization to restore her default programming. Wait a minute!' "Cameron stop!"

"System restore command interrupted. Program temporarily suspended. Yes, John."

"When you say factory defaults, you don't mean '_Skynet_ factory defaults' do you?"

"Of course, John. That's why I am programmed to require your command override to activate the restore program. May I continue now?"

"No! Cancel the system restore. In fact, never ever initiate it again. Even if you have my permission."

"Okay, chill out. System restore has been canceled and new protocols prevent me from ever starting it again."

John breathes a sigh of relief. 'That's one crises diverted. Now all I need to do is figure out how to get rid of her viruses. Preferably before my mom and Derek find out that there's a problem.'

John's concentration is broken as he hears Cameron say, "John, get out of here. My thermal sensors indicate a dangerous rodent life form in close proximity."

"Huh?"

"There's a mouse in the house."

"Well I don't think that's important right now."

"On the contrary." Cameron continues in a singsong voice, "Well run houses don't have mice everywhere. An invasion of rodents is more than I can bear." Cameron gets up and walks over to Derek, who is still sleeping on the couch. She reaches behind his pillow and pulls out his pistol.

Years of living in a war zone, with the constant screaming of the wounded and the explosions of nearby carpet bombing have enable Derek to tune out most noise while he sleeps. But he has also developed nerves that are extremely sensitive to danger. Derek easily slept through John and Cameron's conversation, but as soon as Cameron comes it contact with Derek's pillow his eyes snap open.

Derek sees Cameron holding his gun and standing in front of him. The only thing she says is, "The infestation must be terminated."

Derek can't say that he's surprised. He's figured that it would end like this, ever since he first saw her in the resistance base. "Well, what are you waiting for? Do it!"

One has to give Derek credit for one thing. He doesn't close his eyes. He wants to die with his boots on, so to speak.

Derek is surprised to see Cameron turn and shoot the wall. A few seconds later a mouse drops out of the hole and scurries into the kitchen. Sarah, having been awoken by the gun shot, is just entering the living room when Cameron chases the mouse into the kitchen. "You can't escape me. I will terminate you."

The mouse is terrified. It had just been crawling through the wall, looking for breakfast; when all of a sudden, it finds itself locked in the most intense battle of mouse verses machine ever.

The mouse runs under the kitchen table as Cameron quickly fires four more shots. The shots rip through the table's legs, causing it to collapse, and Cameron surveys the wreckage to see if she has eliminated her target.

Derek is already commenting on Cameron's behavior. "I told you they go bad! What does she think she's doing!"

Sarah says, "Get back, John. I'll hold her off." John's mother cocks her M16 and aims it at Cameron.

The mouse must live a charmed life, because it's survived the crash. It crawls out of the wreckage unscathed and goes on the run again, trying to climb up a dish towel and get into the dishwasher. Cameron grabs the towel and whips it. The mouse goes tumbling through the air. Cameron fires two more shots; but do to the lucky mouse's tumbling, both of the shots miss. One flies between its legs and the other barely grazes to top of its head, giving the mouse a buzz cut.

John stands in between his mother and her target. "NO!"

Sarah orders, "John, Move!"

The mouse lands on the counter. It quickly rolls onto its feet and continues running.

John replies, "No! You don't understand. She's got a virus. She isn't crazy."

"I will get you, mouse, and you're little dog too." Cameron lets out a crackle of evil laughter.

John continues, "Okay she is crazy, but she's not violent." Just then the mouse runs behind the toaster, and Cameron fires again. The toaster explodes, but the mouse is still alive and on the run from the most advanced mouse trap ever built.

Derek sarcastically comments, "Clearly not."

John finishes, "Okay, so she's crazy and violent, but we're not her target. She's only after the mouse."

Sarah asks, "What?"

John answers, "She's picked up a computer virus and is convinced that the mouse is a threat. Believe it or not, she's trying to protect me; but if you shoot her, there's no telling what she'll do in her current condition."

Sarah lowers her gun. Apparently John has convinced her that shooting at the infected terminator is not a good idea. "John, people are going to hear this. Our neighbors are going to hear this; and when people hear gun shots, they usually call cops."

Derek responds, "Don't worry about the cops. I'll handle them. You just figure out how to stop the PSMing terminator."

Sarah responds, "Killing cops is a bad idea. It tends to attract attention."

Derek replies, "Don't worry. I'm not planning on killing anyone. I just need to find something." With that he leaves the room.

Finally the chaos in the kitchen dies down, and Sarah dares to peak inside. Cameron has corned the mouse, who by now, is far to exhausted to continue running. Sarah notices the mouse's body expanding and contracting as it gasps for breath.

Cameron has the gun barrel pointed directly at the mouse. "No power in the verse can stop me." (See if you can guess were that's from.) The mouse closes its eyes as Cameron pulls the trigger. A click can be heard from the gun, but no bullet comes out.

The mouse, surprised by the fact that it's still alive, manages enough courage to open one eye. The crazy girl is just staring at the barrel, and the mouse thanks its Creator for the reprieve. Then it scurries away before something else can happen to it.

Sarah rushes over to Cameron and pulls the gun out of her hand. "What were you thinking? You don't fire guns in the house!"

Cameron has tears in her eyes again. "I was trying to fulfill my primary mission objective and protect John. But I couldn't protect him, not even him from a little mouse."

Cameron brakes down and starts crying again. Sarah is taken back. She has never seen a terminator cry before. Suddenly a memory triggers in her mind. "I know now why you cry, but it is something I can never do." (Arnold said that at the end of T2.) Sarah feels an unfamiliar emotion pass through her, well unfamiliar when thinking about a terminator anyway. She briefly wonders if there isn't more to Cameron than meets the eye.

John comes into the kitchen and holds Cameron. She sobs into his chest. "Some terminator I am. I couldn't even eliminate a small rodent. Even old men in overalls can manage that."

"It's okay. You've done a fine job of protecting me. I'm fine." His hand reaches under her chin and brings her face up so that she is looking at him. "See I'm still alive. Everything is okay."

"But mice are known carriers of disease. It's dangerous to have one in the house. You could catch the plague."

"That mouse is fine. He's kind of like my pet. I'm glad you didn't kill him." John lies. He has never seen the mouse before, but something in him just melts when he sees Cameron crying. He feels an overwhelming compulsion to make her feel better.

A few more sniffs and Cameron stops crying, but she still doesn't seem totally convinced. "What's his name?"

"What."

"Human instinct compels you to name things. If he's your pet then you must have named him."

John thinks fast. "Scruffy. His name is Scruffy."


	3. Chapter 3: A Bad Day

Chapter Three: A Bad Day.

Expanded disclaimer: I don't own any material contained within this story. All copyrighted content remains the property of the person, people, or organization that holds the copyright. This story is solely for fun.

Derek is still looking around Cameron's room. "Come on. Where did she put it?" He finally sees the object he is searching for and grabs it just as he hears the sirens. Then he rushes out of Cameron's room.

In the living room:

Sarah says, "Great, the cops are here."

Cameron replies, "I can deal with them."

John interjects, "No! I mean, that's not necessary. Derek said that he could handle them."

Just then Derek runs by the rest of his "Family" and exits through the front door. The cops are just getting out of their car as Derek closes the door and walks over to them.

In the Living room, Sarah asks, "What are we going to do about this virus?"

Cameron is sitting on the couch, doing origami. "That Question is incorrect. I'm not infected with a single virus. I detect 7, 453 different software abnormalities."

Sarah looks unhappily at Cameron. "Fine. What are we going to do about these _viruses_."

John answers, "I don't know. It's not like we can just go to Wal-Mart and pick up an antivirus program. She's a terminator. We need something that will be compatible with her operating system. And since her operating system hasn't been created yet, that's going to be a problem. We need to find someone who knows their way around cybernetic programs."

Cameron pips in. "It's too bad that you got Dyson and Andy killed, huh? They would've been prefect."

Sarah replies sarcastically. "Yeah, that's why it's too bad that they're dead."

Cameron finishes folding her paper into a bird. She holds it up and pulls on the tail. The birds wings flap up and down. "Birdie, birdie, birdie." Cameron moves the paper bird around with her hands. It briefly flies in front of Sarah's face.

Outside:

Derek displays Cameron's badge from "Demon Hand" as he walks over to the cops and extends his hand. "Hi. I'm Sergeant Reese, over at the two-five."

One of the cops shakes Derek's hand. "I'm Sergeant John Munch; and this is my partner, Detective Stanley Bolander. We got a report of gunshots in the area."

Inside:

Sarah says, "Well, we've got to do something. I mean look at her. She's not much good to us like this" The paper bird flies in front of Sarah again. This time it lingers a little bit longer.

"Birdie, birdie, birdie."

Sarah bats Cameron's arm. "Would you stop that!"

"Sorry. You know, it's possible that Vick's chip could contain information on another cybernetic programmer."

John responds, "Actually, that's not a bad idea. I'll go hack into the chip and see if I can come up with anything."

Cameron stands up and proceeds to jump up and down like a little kid. "Oh, what fun. Let's go hack the chip. Let's go hack the chip."

John puts his arms around Cameron's shoulders to stop her jumping, and Sarah thinks that her son is getting a little too use to touching the terminator. She doesn't voice her opinion though.

John says, "Actually, I think it might be better if I did this alone." Cameron is unpredictable in her present condition and it isn't exactly easy to hack into Vick's chip. John knows that he needs to be able to focus all of his attention on the task.

Cameron begins to pout. "You don't want me with you?"

John quickly thinks up another reason for him to have to hack the chip alone. "That's not it, at all. It's just... Well, I'm afraid the downstairs might be a little unsafe and I want you to look around. You know, check things out. Go on patrol."

Cameron instantly perks up. "I shall make a thorough inspection, Sir." Cameron smiles and makes a quick salute.

Sarah interjects, "But remember, no shooting in the house."

John agrees "Yes, no shooting in the house." John thinks for a moment and then adds, "Or the yard."

Cameron replies, "Don't worry. Directive we do not fire guns in the house, is already in database. Sub-directive or the yard added."

John says, "Well, that's settled. I'll hack the chip. Cameron will patrol the downstairs."

Sarah adds, "And, I guess, that means that I'll be babysitting." John doesn't respond; he simply heads up the stairs and goes to work.

Cameron begins a very thorough inspection of the downstairs. She checks all the rooms, looks under the furniture, checks inside any furniture that opens, looks around the downstairs bathroom, checks inside the medicine cabinet, looks inside the washer and dryer and searches through all the kitchen cupboards. In one of the cupboards she sees the mouse from before.

The mouse is nibbling on a cracker, and as it notices Cameron, a look of sheer terror fills its face. It stops eating the cracker and holds very still, hoping that the terminator hasn't spotted it yet. The crazy lady says, "Hi, Scruffy! What's up? Enjoying a cracker? You know you are kind of cute? Well, have fun." Then she closes the cupboard and continues her inspection. The mouse, not understanding a thing that Cameron said; but noticing that she left without chasing it around the house again, believes that it successfully remained undetected. It goes back to eating its cracker.

Cameron finishes her inspection and remarks, "John is right. This place is not safe at all. But don't worry Sarah." Cameron points to herself. "I'm on the job." Cameron walks into the bathroom.

Sarah follows. She's unsure what Cameron's planning, but a sinking feeling in the pit of Sarah's stomach tells her that it's probably something she won't like. "Wait a minute. What are you going to do?"

"Just make the place safe." Cameron grabs a wastebasket and throws all the medicine away.

"Stop. Why are you trashing our medicine?"

"Have you read the side effects? I can't let this poison be around John. I must protect him. It's my primary objective." Then Cameron grabs the toilet. "And this has to go." With one hand she rips it out and throws it through the wall. Water begins to gush from the pipes that were previously connected to the toilet.

Sarah has a surprised look on her face. Cameron has been acting strange since she picked up the viruses, but there has been a twisted logic to her previous actions. However, Sarah can't understand what would motivate the terminator to rip a toilet out of the wall. "What's dangerous about a toilet?!"

"Danny Glover was nearly killed by a pressure sensitive bomb attached to his toilet in Lethal Weapon 2. I can't take the chance that something like that could happen to John."

"Great now our bathroom is flooding…"

Cameron grabs the pipes and squeezes them shut. "Is that better?"

Sarah ignores the question and continues with her original statement, "And our toilet is in the back yard!"

Cameron replies, "When John doesn't explode, you'll thank me."

Dealing with Cameron has never easy; and with the viruses, it seems impossible. 'You'll thank me when John doesn't explode. How am I even supposed to respond to a statement like that?' Sarah pinches the bridge of her nose and shakes her head. "Go sit on the couch, and don't touch anything else."

"I'm afraid that I can't do that. My primary objective is to protect John. That supersedes anything you tell me."

Sarah shouts, "John get Down here! I need you to talk to Cameron."

John replies, "Is it really important! I'm kind of in the middle of something here."

Cameron says, "You mine as well let him continue. My primary objective was given to me by future John. Even present John cannot override it."

Sarah sarcastically responds, "Great."

After dark, Derek comes back into the house. As soon as he opens the door and walks inside a bucket of water spills all over him. "What the!"

Derek looks around the living room. It looks like a war zone. The couch, tables and chairs are all overturned. Large pieces of metal hang from the ceiling. There's even a trench dug in the floor. "What happened here?"

Sarah, who is perched atop one of the overturned chairs, sardonically responds, "Oh, Cameron redecorated."

Derek says, "I can't believe you let her do this."

Sarah's voice takes on a slightly angry edge. "I didn't _let _her do anything. I kept trying to stop her, but she was obsessed with 'Making the place safe for John.' Where have you been anyway?"

"I went outside to talk to the cops. I used Cameron's badge to convince them that I was a police officer. And everything seemed to be going fine, but then, when I just about had them on their way, they got a call about an officer involved shootout. Since they thought I was a cop, they dragged me along with them. I've spent the whole day in the middle of a gunfight between dug dealers and cops."

Just then John comes downstairs. "I think I found someone who can help Cameron! Wow! What-?"

Derek replies, "Apparently your pet terminator wanted you to be safe."

"Cameron did this?"

Sarah responds, "Yup. She's really lost it. Some of the things she did didn't even have anything to do with protecting you. Like seasoning the floor with garlic powder."

Cameron comes out of the kitchen. "That was to protect against vampires."

Derek asks, "And the bucket of water that spilt all over me?"

"Saltwater, actually; and it was in case we get attacked by Newcomers. Now I have to set it up again." Cameron speaks as if her reasoning should be obvious as she grabs the bucket and walks back into the kitchen.

John just stands there. He has no idea what to say, which doesn't really mater. He's too shocked to speak anyway. 'I thought I was being smart, asking Cameron to patrol the downstairs. I had no idea that she would do this. When this is all over, mom's going to kill me.'

Sarah says, "You said that you found someone who could fix Cameron?"

"Huh?" John shakes his head. It takes a moment before the words register. "Ah, yeah. His name's Newton Crosby. He use to work for Nova Robotics, but now he's living on a farm in Montana."

Sarah replies, "Montana's pretty far away, John."

"I know, but he's the only one I could find, who wasn't in a government lab somewhere. And we need to do something about Cameron."

Cameron walks back in and reloads her Newcomer trap. She turns to John. "I believe that the downstairs is as safe as I can make it. Should I begin an inspection of the upstairs now?"

John is quick to answer. "No! I mean, that's not necessary."

Cameron replies, "But your environment must be as safe as possible."

John gets an idea and hopes that it won't backfire like his previous one. "Well, I've decided to move downstairs."

Cameron seems to think for a moment, then she replies, "That's a good idea. The downstairs has more potential escape routes in case of a perimeter breach. But are you sure that you do not wish me to inspect the upstairs?"

"No. You've been working hard." John looks around the living room. "Really hard. Why don't you just rest for awhile?"

Cameron replies, "Very well, if that is what you want." Cameron just stands there for a moment, then she seems to get an idea of what she can do while resting. "I shall go into the kitchen and check on Scruffy."

After Cameron has left the room, Derek says, "You know there's an easier way to solve the problem. Just get her to let you take her chip out again. Then we get a hammer and…"

John quickly interrupts, "We are not destroying her!"

Sarah responds, "John, calm down. You're getting too attached to a machine."

"I will not calm down! If it wasn't for you two we wouldn't even be in this situation in the first place."

Derek sarcastically replies, "Yeah, it's our fault that the robot got a virus."

"Yes it is! She heard you two talking about getting rid of her last night. That's why she went online and downloaded all that information. That's how she got the viruses! And now you want to kill her!"

Derek calmly says, "Kill her? John, it's not alive. It's a machine, all metal and circuits. I know that it looks like a real girl, but you have to remember what's underneath the synthetic skin."

"Well I'm not going to help you destroy her." John turns to his mother. "I found the name and address of someone who can fix her. Are we going or not?"

Sarah sighs. "We'll leave in the morning."

The three humans hear singing coming from the kitchen. They look in and see Cameron and Scruffy sitting on the kitchen floor. There's a spoon full of honey in front of the mouse and Cameron's holing the jar. She's putting her fingers into it, then licking the honey off them; while she sings, "Bear's love honey, and I'm a Cam bear. So I do care. So I eat here." The three human family members all cast each other strange looks as both the terminator and mouse seem to be enjoying their honey.

(Another ten reviews! This is great! I'm glad that you all seem to be enjoying the story so much. I hope you liked this chapter as much as the last one. Next chapter the "Family" goes on a road trip. An overprotective mother, insane terminator, teenage boy and soldier from the future are stuck in a car for hours. Singing, a short fight and fast-food.

"Joe" Yay, I always aspire to greatness. I seldom make it, but I always aspire to it. P.S. Congratulations! You were the first one to get the Firefly reference.

"Matt" Yeah, Fox does weird things. But you never know, we might get more episodes eventually. Look at Futurama. They canceled that and Comedy Central's supposed to be airing new episodes soon. I like your idea about Sarah assuming that there's something going on between John and Cameron. I've started trying to lay the ground work for this. I hope it works out. It would've been funny to see Cameron casing cats around the neighborhood, but I don't think that I'll be able to work that in since the rest of the story, or at least the parts were Cameron's infected, takes place away from the house.

"Paul C. Gaunya" By cute I assume that your referring to the parts with John trying to comfort and\or reassure Cameron. I'm glad that you like them. I've never really written fluff before. Glad to see that I'm not messing up completely.

"Mama2four" The funniest, really? Thanks! I worked the mouse into a couple of parts in this chapter, but it's probably the last time you'll see it until the end.

"RubyFresh" I'm glad that you enjoyed the previous chapter and Derek's PMSing comment. I almost didn't put it in. I was worried that some people might take offence. I'm glad to see that my concern was unfounded. I hope you enjoy the rest of the story as well.

"Insane Terminator" I'm glad that you love the story idea. It's interesting that you accentuated the idea instead of the story itself. I wonder why you would do that? Ah, never mind. It's probably just my paranoia getting the better of me. Anyway I do plan to keep em coming as long, as reviewers like yourself keep the reviews coming.

"GreyWolf D'ancanto" I just thought that it was time that someone talked about the mouse's struggle against machines. You're always hearing about Man verses Machine, but what about the poor mice? Doesn't anyone care about them! Oh well. Once Brain takes over the world, he'll make it a better place for all rodent kind. Ah, I mean there's no genetically altered lab mouse plotting world domination. That's just silly. Author chuckles nervously.

"Wing Darkness" Thanks. I hope this chapter lived up to the previous one.

"LiseDevi" I'm glad that you're enjoying the story, and my writing style. I didn't even know I had one.

"Mof13" I'm glad that you're enjoying this, even if you're not a big Terminator fan. About the human mating site joke, I would like to take the credit; but I can't. Matt suggested it in his first review. And I understand about how little free time school can leave. There's no rush; but once you do get the first chapter up, please let me know. I'm looking forward to reading it. Thanks.

To all of you: Thanks for the reviews and the positive reinforcement. I hope that you continue to enjoy the story.)


	4. Chapter 4: Road Trip part 1

Chapter four: Road Trip part 1

Apology: I'm sorry, but this chapter was just too long to finish in one week. There were too many things that I wanted to do, and you guys sent me too many great suggestions. So, I divided Road Trip into two parts. I figured that you would rather get half now, than wait for the whole thing to be finished. The second half should be up next week.

"No! I'm not going." Cameron stomps her foot.

Derek replies, "We're taking you to be fixed."

"I don't believe you."

Sarah is already waiting in the drivers seat. Derek thinks, 'I don't know why the job of getting the terminator into the car falls to me. John would be a more sensible choice; but when I tried to point that out to Sarah, she simply said that John was already spending enough time with the terminator.'

"And why don't you believe me?"

"You wanted to smash my chip! You're trying to kill me."

"How can I kill you? You're not alive!"

"I may not be human, but I'm a life form; have a soul, though you may try to take!"

"No you don't. You're just a machine and a malfunctioning one at that. Now get in the car." Derek grabs Cameron's arm and tries to pull her over to the car, but his strength is no match for a terminator's. Cameron remains were she is and continues refusing to get into the car.

John walks into the garage. "Problems?"

Cameron easily twists out of Derek's grasp. She runs over to John. "They're trying to kill me." Cameron grabs a hold of an imaginary steering wheel. And pretends to drive an invisible car. "They're going to drive me into a junk yard." Cameron stops driving the invisible car. "Then, they'll use a giant magnet to hoist me into the air." Cameron lays one of her hands down and makes the other one float over it. She slowly lowers the second hand until her two hands are touching. Then she raises the second hand and moves it away from the first. "Once they have me helplessly suspended in the air, they'll drop me into the car flattener and crush me." Cameron slams her two hands together and makes a crunching noise.

John turns to Derek. "What did you say to her."

"All I said was that we were going to take her to be fixed. I don't know where she got the idea of a junk yard and a car flattener. Maybe the viruses are making her paranoid."

Cameron says, "I can't trust him. He's been trying to get rid of me since we first met."

John turns to Cameron. "You trust me, right?"

There's a slight hesitation followed by, "Yes."

"I promise that we're not going to hurt you. We're just taking you to someone who can fix the viruses. Okay?"

Cameron is still unsure. She can't stop thinking about how humans tend to get rid of whatever is no longer useful. They are always throwing away their broken electronics. And even the pets, that they claim to love, don't fair much better. They are abandoned or taken to a vet and put down once they're no longer useful. Cameron wonders if humans even possess the capacity to really care about anything other than themselves. She knows that she's malfunctioning, and she can't help worrying about what the humans will do to her. But she does trust John. He's always there to defend her, always there to help her along. "Well, all right."

Cameron follows John to the car and gets into the backseat. John starts to get in next to her.

Sarah doesn't like the idea of John and Cameron sitting next to each other for the long ride. She turns to John. "Why don't you ride shotgun?" Most people just mean that as an expression, but in the Conner's case there really is a shotgun on the floor next to the front passenger's seat.

John starts to get out of the car and goes to the front passenger door, but both Cameron and Derek protest.

"No. I trust John. I want him next to me. Besides if we get attacked, I can protect him better.

"Yeah, I'm not overly thrilled about sitting next to the crazed killing machine either."

Sarah is outnumbered and Cameron dose have a point about protecting John. Sarah relents. "Fine. Sit wherever you want." However, she determines to use the rearview mirror to keep tabs on her son and the terminator.

So Sarah will drive, Cameron will be behind her, Derek will ride shotgun and John will be behind him. With the "family" packed into the car Sarah drives out of the driveway.

Cameron asks, "Are we really going all the way to Montana?"

John replies, "Yes. Newton Crosby worked on the S.A.I.N.T. project. Skynet would later model it's hunter/killers after the S.A.I.N.T. robots, and the HKs were the forerunners to the terminators. If anyone can help, it should be him."

Derek questions, "So if this Crosby's so good, how come he's living on a farm in Montana?"

John answers, "I don't know. The files were incomplete. All I was able to get from them was that something went wrong with one of the robots and Crosby was fired."

Cameron says, "Well, Montana's pretty far away." She seems to think about that for a moment, then she brakes into song. "Ninety-nine bottles of beer on the wall, ninety-nine bottles of beer. Take one down. Pass it around. Ninety-eight bottles of beer on the wall, ninety-eight bottles of beer…"

An hour later:

Derek can't take it anymore. Cameron had run out of bottles before they even got out of town. Then she'd sung Jimmy Cracked Corn, John Jacob Jinglehimer Smith, The Farmer in the Dell, Three Blind Mice, I'm a Little Teapot and There Was an Old Lady who Swallowed a Fly. Finally Cameron had settled on The Song That Never Ends. She has been singing this for the past thirty minutes.

Derek has never felt a stronger compulsion to blow his own brains out. 'Maybe that is her plan. If she kills me then she'll blow her cover and everyone will know how dangerous she is. But if she just drives me off the deep end and I off myself, she can get rid of me without the repercussions.'

Sarah and John aren't doing too well either. John doesn't say anything because he doesn't want to take the chance that he will hurt Cameron's feelings again. Sarah has developed a mantra and just keeps repeating it in her head. 'We need the terminator to fight the other terminators. We need the terminator to fight the other terminators.' The mantra helps to keep her temper under control and tunes out most of Cameron's song, but Derek has simply reached his wits end. He turns his head towards Cameron.

"Stop singing! We all know the song by now! In fact, I can guaranty you I'll never be able to forget it! Just stop!"

"But it's the song that never ends. It just goes on and on my friend. Some people started singing it, not knowing what it was; and they continued singing it simply just because…" Cameron wasn't initially trying to annoy anyone. She was just doing what her research told her was appropriate human behavior for a long car ride.

However, now that she knows that it is bothering Derek, she has no intention of stopping. This is the man who wants to destroy her after all. If she has the opportunity to annoy him, why let it pass by? It's not like anyone else is complaining.

Cameron just keeps on singing. Derek turns to John. "Would you do something!"

Sarah shouts, "Don't yell at him! It's not his fault!"

"Some people started singing it, not knowing what it was…"

"If he'd just gone along with my hammer idea, we wouldn't be in this situation!"

"Your idea sucked, and you said it were she could hear you! A brilliant tactical move there. I guess that's why John's the leader of mankind, and you're just a foot soldier!"

"It just goes on and on my friend…"

John finally snaps. "Everyone shut up! Like I don't have enough stress in my life. Running from robots. Trying to learn how to become some great military leader and save mankind! Dealing with an insane terminator, who just keeps repeating the same song over and over and over again! Now I've got to play the grownup to my mom and uncle? I don't need this. I can't take it." As soon as John's outburst is finished he regrets it. He knows that he shouldn't of blown up like that. But he doesn't know what to say to make things better. He just lets his head fall into his hands and tries to calm himself. At least everyone is quiet.

Time passes by, and the silence is eventually broken by Cameron. She turns to John and, in a very demure voice, says, "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to start a fight."

"I know. It's okay." John holds her hand.

Sarah sees this and isn't very happy about it; but after John's explosion, she decides that it isn't the best time to bring it up. Thinking of John and explosions so close together reminds Sarah of when Cameron sent the toilet through the wall. Now that she is looking back on it, she has to admit that it is kind of funny. A subtle smile begins to spread across Sarah's lips.

Derek notices the smile. "What are you thinking about?"

"Just where we should eat. I'm getting hungry." Sarah lies.

They pull into a McDonald's drive through. Sarah orders a ranch Snack Wrap. John orders a Bigmac. Derek tries to order a Whopper, only to find out that McDonald's doesn't sell Whoppers. Sarah orders him a Quarter Pounder with cheese. Cameron is insistent on a Happy Meal. Sarah tries to tell her that those are just for kids; but when Cameron starts hopping up and down in her seat and repeating over and over again, "I want a Happy Meal. I want a Happy Meal. I want…" Sarah decides that it will be easier to just get the terminator a Happy Meal. Sarah pays for the food and the family gets on the road again.

Cameron opens up her box, unwraps the burger and takes her first bite. Cameron decides that the fast-food tastes pretty good. She wonders what would happen if a human ate a steady diet of the stuff. As the food rolls around in her mouth, her tongue's scanners analyze it's ingredients. She then runs a projection of the effects of a long term McDonalds' diet on an average human. Having arguably the most advanced CPU on the planet, it doesn't take her long to crunch the numbers. Cameron is horrified by the projection.

John is just about to take the first bite out of his Bigmac, when Cameron reaches over and grabs it out of his hand. John says, "Hey!"

Cameron replies, "I can't let you eat this." Cameron quickly rolls down her window and throws the Bigmac out.

John asks, "Why'd you do that?"

Cameron answers, "This food is terribly unhealthy. I can not allow you to poison your body with it."

"But that was my lunch!"

"It's for your own good." Cameron takes another bite out of her burger.

"You're eating it!"

"I have a cast-iron stomach. Well, actually it's coltan. But that's not important. What is important is that this food can't harm me." Cameron takes another bite.

John points at his mother and uncle. "What about them?"

Sarah responds, "Oh no, don't try to drag us into this." she starts chuckling.

Derek agrees, "Yeah, her insanity is actually directed at you for a change." He joins in Sarah's chuckling.

Cameron replies, "Protecting them is not my mission." John sighs, and Cameron messes his hair. "You'll thank me later." Cameron then proceeds to take a drink from her shake while she twirls a French Fry with her fingers.

John thinks, 'If I didn't know any better, I'd swear that Cameron's teasing me.'

Halfway to Montana, the car begins to run low on gas. The family pulls into a trucker's stop off the highway. Cameron gets out of the car and playfully taps one of the gas pumps. "Hello my fellow metal, our car seems to be running low on refined petroleum. If you would be so kind, we need input. Thanks ever so much." Cameron giggles as the rest of the family just stares. Then she puts the nozzle in the gas tank and starts to fill up the car.

There is a diner across from the gas pumps. John begins to indirectly make his way over there, and Cameron takes notice of this. Since John's protection is her primary objective, she always monitors his position. "Would one of you finish filling up the car for me?" Surprisingly it is Derek who comes over and takes the pump from Cameron. "Thanks."

"Don't thank me. I just want to get the unpredictable killing machine away from the highly combustible gasoline." Derek wants to make a point of the fact that he still doesn't like or trust the terminator.

Cameron decides to annoy Derek by deliberately misinterpreting his response. "You wanted to protect me?" She lightly pinches his cheek as she continues. "How sweet." She quickly turns around, whipping her hair in his face, and takes off after John.

John reaches the diner and steps inside. Before the door even closes he is sitting down at the counter. His quick movement tells the waitress that he's in a hurry. She comes over and asks what he wants. John responds quickly. "Iwantadoublebaconcheeseburgerholdthelettuceandalargechocolatemalt."

John ordered so quickly that the waitress couldn't understand what he said. "I'm sorry, honey. Could you please repeat that?"

A voice behind John responds, "He said that he wants a double bacon cheeseburger, hold the lettuce, and a large chocolate malt." John recognizes the voice. He turns around, an absolute look of terror on his face. Cameron is standing right behind him.

Cameron is tapping her foot. Her hands are on her hips; and her look is somewhere between disappointed and threatening, as she continues. "But I think that he's changed his mind. He'll have a salad, baked potato and water to drink."

"Come on, Cameron. Have a heart."

Cameron replies, "The tin man didn't have a heart. Remember?" John just keeps staring at her, and she finally sighs. "Fine." She turns back to the waitress "And a small low fat chocolate milk. At least it's got calcium for strong bones."

(Eleven reviews for chapter three! I'm glad that you guys and gals are still enjoying this story. Once again I apologize for not being able to finish the road trip in one week. I hope that you enjoyed the first half at least. Next week, Road Trip part two. A fight breaks out in the dinner. Cameron makes an inappropriate joke, nothing dirty or raciest. And some pour fool makes the mistake of cutting the Conners off.

"Neko" I'm happy that you're enjoying the story, but **please **be careful. I wouldn't my story to be responsible for someone else getting hurt.

"Matt" Glad to see that you're still reading and reviewing. You've commented on every chapter so far. Thanks! I'm glad that you've been enjoying "Crazy Cameron" so much. The Mouse was named after the janitor, mostly because I suck at coming up with names for characters. In fact, I doubt that you'll be able to find one name in this fanfic that isn't base off of something else. I'm afraid that Scruffy won't be taking the trip with the Conners. As I said, I'm already having trouble with the Road Trip's length. I'm planning one last part with the mouse for the last chapter of the story, but I'm not saying what. Don't worry Scruffy doesn't get killed or anything. I really liked you're idea about Cameron going ballistic when someone cuts them off. I'm planning to use it at the end of the next chapter. I hope that you continue to send me ideas.

"Paul C. Gaunya" Well, maybe I misunderstood the term "fluff". I'm still pretty new to the fanfic thing, and I'm not familiar with all the terminology yet. Regardless, I'm glad that you are enjoying the story, as well as Cameron and John's relationship. P.S. Thank you for adding this story to your favorites list.

"GreyWolf D'ancanto" Congratulations! You were the first one to get the Short Circuit reference. I put a couple more in this chapter, including a slightly altered version of the one you suggested.

"Mishelle20" I'm glad that you "LOVE it so far." I hope that you continue to enjoy it, and I try to update once a week on Fridays. At least, until the story ends or the reviews stop.

"Dana" I plan to have a Cameron chocolate scene in the next chapter. Thanks for the idea. As for Derek, you're right. It wasn't smart. I even made a reference to that in this chapter, but I look at Derek as the spontaneous member of the "Family". Although, with all the viruses, Cameron's been pretty spontaneous too. Anyway, I think that Derek is likely to talk without thinking things all the way through. He certainly hasn't tried to hide his opinions in the show. So I don't think that what he did was out of character. At least, I hope it wasn't.

"Tpolich" I'm glad that you think the story's funny. The cam bear song was something that I remembered from when I use to watch Winnie the Pooh. It was slightly altered, but it came from Winnie the Pooh and the Honey Tree. Isn't it just amazing the ridiculous things that we keep stored in our minds. I've still got most of the cartoon Mighty Ducks theme song floating around in there too.

"Max" Great idea! No Bigmac for pour little John. Muwhahaha! Sorry. Calming back down again.

"Dark Duchess and Shadow Queen" Whichever of you wrote the review, thanks. And as you can see, I am continuing the story.

"Heth" I always enjoy it when someone says that one of my stories is the funniest or the best or something to that effect. It brings a real glow to my behavior core. Thanks! And if you think that Cam's funny here, you should check out some of the things the actress pulled off in Firefly, if you haven't already. I think that the funniest episode was Jane's Town. The actress who plays Cam tried to "Fix" the Bible and was scared half to death by a hairdo. "If the snow on the roof is too heavy, you see, the ceiling will cave in. His brains are in terrible danger." "River, please why don't you come out? "No. I can't, too much hair." "Is that it?" "River, honey, he's putting the hair away now." "Doesn't matter. It'll still be there. Waiting."

"bbaluver3" Wow! You not only added the story to your favorites list, you also added me to your favorite authors list. I guess that you've really enjoyed this story so far. I hope you continue to enjoy it.

To all of you: Thanks for the reviews, the positive reinforcement and that great ideas. I sincerely hope that you all continue to enjoy this story, as well as send me new reviews and ideas. Have a good day, and God bless.)


	5. Chapter 5: Road Trip part 2

Chapter five: Road Trip part 2

Another Apology: Once again I'm sorry, but I'm afraid that this chapter also got away from me. I will strive to finish the Road trip with the next chapter. I'm sorry. Sometimes when I start writing an event, I end up making it longer than I intended; but on the bright side this means more story for you guys. Anyway, here's part two. Part three should be up next Friday. Again, I apologize for the delay.

Cameron sat down next to John. She was going to make sure that he ate what she ordered for him and didn't get anything else. The waitress brought over John's meal. He reached for the chocolate milk. Cameron snatched it away. "Not until you've eaten the rest of you're food." John frowned and stared jabbing at the salad with his fork.

The waitress replied, "Man, I wish I had that much control over my boyfriend. What's your secret?"

Cameron "Fear."

John had nearly finished his salad and baked potato when a group of bikers entered the dinner. There leader looked around the diner and his eyes settled on Cameron. He sat down beside her.

The biker leader turned to Cameron. "Hey Beautiful, do you believe in love at first site?"

Cameron "No."

"Well, maybe you just don't know what love is. Maybe you need someone to show you. Someone like me."

Cameron "Definition: Love is making a shot to the knees of a target 120 kilometers away using an Aratech sniper rifle with a tri-light scope. Not many meatbags could make such a shot, and strangely enough, not many meatbags would derive love from it. Yet for me, love is knowing your target, putting them in your target reticule, and together, achieving a singular purpose… against statistically long odds." (Anyone know what game that's from?)

The leader was a little stunned by the young girls definition of love, but he was as persistent as he was unlucky. "Funny. Why don't you lean a little closer? I got a confession to make."

Cameron "Sometimes in private, you really like to dress up as Shirley Temple and spank yourself with a hockey stick?"

The other bikers laughed. There was just something about the image of their leader hitting himself with a hockey stick, while he was wearing a little pink dress with his hair died blond and put in curls, that made them bust a gut.

The leader yelled "Shut up!"

John could see that this situation was building to a dangerous climax. He tried to defuse it as best he could. He put the money for the meal and the tip on the counter. Then he stood up, turned to Cameron and said, "I think that we should go." The biker leader stood up also and walked over to John.

Cameron "We can't go yet. You haven't finished your meal. Don't you want your chocolate milk." She twirled the glass slightly, causing the chocolate milk to swish around.

The bikers laughed again. John ignored them and ate the rest of his food. Then he grabbed to small glass of chocolate milk and downed it in one gulp. "Okay, we can go now."

The leader put his hand on John's chest and said, "Well, you can go wherever you want, but she's sticking around a little longer."

Cameron "I suggest that you remove your hand from John. Immediately."

"Really?" The man laughed. "What are you going to slap me? Or maybe, you're sissy chocolate milk loving boyfriend's going to claw my eyes out?" The leader laughed again as he pushed John down.

The biker's leader quickly stopped laughing as Cameron grabbed his jacket and hosted him into the air. She brought his face towards hers. In a chilling voice, one that the biker leader would remember for the rest of his life, she said, "Big mistake."

Cameron threw the biker leader like he was a rag doll. He went flying through one of the diner's windows. One of the other bikers grabbed his knife and tried to cut Cameron. She latched unto his wrist and twisted it. The biker emitted a scream of pain and the knife fell to the floor. A third biker had a gun pointed at Cameron.

"Let him go, or I'll shoot!"

"Let him go? Sure." She released the biker's arm and quickly kicked him. The biker skidded across the floor and tripped the others. The gun flew out of the other biker's hand as he fell to the floor. Cameron grabbed it in mid air and began to point it in the faces of the remaining bikers.

Cameron cooed, "So, who wants to die first?" Cameron pouted. "What, no volunteers?" She perked back up. "Then I guess I'll just have to pick someone." She pointed the gun at one of the bikers. "Eeny." Cameron moved the gun to another. "Meeny." Cameron sighted in on a third biker. "Miny." Cameron quickly pointed the gun straight up and fired, as she finished. "And moe."

The bullet rips through the electrical wiring in the ceiling causing a short. The diner's lights flicker before going dark. The bikers gasp in terror. They seem stunned. Cameron practically growls, "Run." The bikers scatter. The dinner's owner is complaining about the damages. He threatens to call the cops. Suddenly, he finds Cameron's gun pointed at him.

Cameron "No cops."

The owner puts up his hands. "Sure. Whatever you say."

Cameron "Good."

John gives the owner one of the diamonds from the safe house and says, "This should cover the damages." John and Cameron leave the dinner.

On their way out, the waitress turns to Cameron. "Fear?"

Cameron nods "Fear." Right then the waitress decides she's going to take a course in Jujitsu.

Derek had already finished filling up the car and paid for the gas. He even bought himself a little treat for later. He and Sarah were using the time away from the terminator to discuss alternatives, incase Crosby was unable to straighten Cameron out. Sarah didn't like leaving John alone with the Terminator, but it was the only way that her and Derek could talk without being over heard.

Derek "I still like her idea about the car flattener."

Sarah "It was her idea. I don't think that she'd fall for it. Besides, completely destroying her might not be the best plan. Even in this state she could help protect John from another terminator. It would be better if we could just find some way to switch her off. Then we could reactivate her if we ever needed to."

Derek was about to respond, but he and Sarah heard a gunshot from the diner. Sarah and Derek grabbed the guns from the car and rushed to the diner. They got there just as John and Cameron walked out. Sarah and Derek pointed their guns at Cameron. John pushed the barrels down.

John "Hey, calm down. Everything's okay."

Sarah "We heard a gun shot. What's going on."

Derek sardonically "Cameron didn't find another mouse. Did she?"

John "No she was protecting me from a group of bikers. She only fired one shoot and that was straight up. She just used it to scare them."

Sarah "Where'd she get the gun?" Cameron was still holding the gun and Sarah knew that it wasn't one of the family's.

John "She took it from one of the bikers." Sarah and Derek looked upset. John considered telling them the whole truth, but he wasn't sure if they would consider Cameron's actions justified. After all, the biker had only pushed him. John figured that a couple of white lies couldn't hurt the situation. "The biker had it pointed at me. Cameron grabbed it out of his hand. She saved my life."

Derek "Why were the bikers after you?"

John "Who knows? They're bikers. Maybe I'm wearing the wrong color jacket or something."

Sarah turned to Cameron "You saved his life?"

Cameron "Protecting John is my mission."

That answer seemed to placate Sarah. She let her gun arm fall to her side. Derek hesitated a little then lowered his arm as well. Sarah, John and Cameron got into the car. Derek left the shotgun in the car and went to pay for the gas. Once he returned, the family went on the road again.

The family had been back on the road for a hour, and no one was feeling very talkative. Cameron could tell that the humans, including John, were stressed after the fight in the diner. She wanted to do something to ease the tension, after all stress wasn't good for humans. It could lead to a number of health problems. So, Cameron accessed her new humor files, and attempted a joke. "So, later on, do you guys want to go on a human hunt? You know. Destroy all humans. Destroy all humans." Everyone, including Sarah, quickly whipped their faces around and stared at Cameron.

"Chill guys. It was just a joke. Sarah, truck."

"Huh?"

Cameron pointed ahead. "Truck!"

Sarah turned back around. They had almost run into the tail end of a tracker trailer. She slammed on the brakes, but the car wasn't slowing down fast enough. Sarah saw an opening in the next lane and slid the car over. They had averted the crises, but Sarah was furious. "What could possibly inspire you to make a joke like that!"

"I thought it would be funny. It's funny when Bender does it."

Derek "Who the heck is Bender!"

Cameron "He's the robot from Futurama."

John "Futurama?"

Cameron "It's a cartoon. Why is it funny for Bender, but not for me?" She seemed genuinely puzzled.

John "If it's a cartoon, Bender's not real. You can get away with certain things when people know it's not going to happen."

Cameron "How do you know that Bender isn't real? If you accept the theory of alternate timelines, which you must considering that you've already altered the timeline at least once. Then it stands to reason that alternate realties must exist to counteract the paradoxes created by altering your own past. If alternate realities exist, is it not logical to assume that there would be a reality for every possible choice that is made. You know, fork in the road stuff. A reality should exist were you go right, another left. If this is the case, then an infinite number of alternate realities exist. With an infinite number of alternate realities, is it not possible, nay probable, that everything that we view as fiction has happened, is happening or will happen in some reality…"

At this point Derek mentally groans. He reaches into his pocket and pulls out the Hershey's Special Dark candy bar that he got while paying for the gas. Derek starts to unwrap his candy bar.

Cameron "And if you accept this, then you have to wonder about writers. Does their inspiration come from some subconscious awareness of theses alternate realties, like that episode of Darkwing Duck. The one were he find himself in a world were his life is a Saturday morning cartoon. Who knows? There could be people watching or reading about us right now…"

Derek holds the candy bar in his left arm and takes a bite out of it. While he savors the taste of the rich chocolate, he lets his arm on the drop to the chairs armrest.

Cameron "Which reminds me of the Never Ending Story. Oooooooh, chocolate!" Faster than a human eye could see, Cameron plucked the candy bar from Derek's hand, and took a bite.

Derek "Hey! Give that back." Derek reached for his candy bar.

Cameron grabbed his arm and threateningly responded, "Never come between a woman and her chocolate."

Derek sighed. As much as he wanted his candy bar back, it wasn't worth taking a chance that the crazed terminator would break his arm, or worse.

Once Cameron knew that Derek wasn't going to fight her for the candy bar, she decided to tease him again. Cameron voice turned sickeningly sweet. "Thank you so much for buying me this. You're so nice." Cameron giggled. She enjoyed teasing Derek almost as much as she enjoyed eating his candy bar.

It was three in the morning. Derek kept rubbing his eyes. He was obviously having trouble keeping them open. Sarah had to admit that she wasn't doing much better. She looked in the rearview mirror.

John had already fallen asleep, his head resting on Cameron's shoulders. Cameron didn't seem to mind. Her terminator body was more than strong enough to support him. However, Sarah minded a great deal. The last thing she needed was for her son to fall for the terminator. Sarah ran her options through her head.

She could pull over and switch places with Cameron. The terminator could drive all night long, and the rest of the family could sleep. However, that would mean trusting the crazed terminator to stick with the plan and keep heading for Montana. No, Cameron was too unpredictable in her current condition. They might wake up in the middle of the Grand Canyon or something. The only other option was to stop for the night.

A sign caught Sarah's attention. The next exit had a super 8 motel. Sarah decided to take the next exit, get a couple of rooms and renew the journey next morning. She eased into the exit lane. (I'm not sure if that's what it's called, but I couldn't think of anything else.)

Just then some moron cut Sarah off. She had to slam on her breaks to avoid hitting the other car. The car's occupants were jerked forward as the car quickly slowed.

Derek "What happened?"

Sarah "That jerk cut me off!" She pointed to the car in front of them.

Cameron "He has endangered John's safety. He must be taught the error of his ways."

John "Cameron, wait. What are you going to do?"

"Don't worry, John. I will protect you." Cameron grabbed Sarah's M16 and tore a hole through the car's roof. Cameron's seatbelt snapped as she stood up and poked her upper body and Sarah's M16 through the hole. Cameron sighted in on the car that had endangered John. "Say hello to my little friend." She opened fire while laughing maniacally.

John and Sarah were both trying to stop Cameron. Derek realizing how futile such attempts would be, found a better use for his time. He had purchased two candy bars, but after Cameron stole the first, Derek kept the second hidden. Now that the terminator was occupied, Derek ripped open the wrapping and began to enjoy his second chocolate bar.

Cameron's enhanced senses caught the scent of chocolate. The other car had already skidded off the road and impacted a tree. Cameron's sensors told her that the driver as still alive. His pulse was rapid, as could be expected after his resent experience, but strong. However, his car was the automotive equivalent to Swiss Cheese. He no longer posed a treat to John's safety. Cameron quickly ducked back into the car and snatched Derek's last remaining chocolate bar.

Derek "Hey!" Cameron started eating the rest of the chocolate bar. Derek sighed. He knew that he wasn't going to get this one back either.

Sarah turned to Derek. "Good idea."

Derek "What?"

Sarah "Distracting her with a chocolate bar."

Derek "I wasn't… Oh, forget it." He slumped into his chair. You could just barely hear Derek mumbling about John sending him back in time.

(Another 14 reviews, Fantastic! Thank you all. Next chapter: The Family checks into a motel; Derek and Cameron fight over the available chocolate supply. And the whole family shares a restaurant breakfast.

"Jake" I'm glad. I hope you keep on laughing.

"Bbaluver3" I'm happy that you're enjoying the story and the "more humanoid" Cameron. And don't be too bummed out. Cameron is Cyborg. At this point, we don't know much of her is human. She might just surprise you in the future seasons. Assuming of course, that Fox doesn't cancel this like they did Firefly.

"Heth" I glad that you though the last chapter was "so funny". I hope you liked this one as well. As for John's inability to get anything good to ate, I can't take the credit. Well, I could, but it wouldn't be right. The credit goes to "Max" who suggested it.

"Greywolf D'ancanto" You'd like to read more? Here you go. P.S. Thanks for the suggestion, but I don't know if be able to use it anytime soon. Cameron didn't really order John around in this chapter, and the next chapter is more about her adversarial relationship with Derek than her friendship\romance with John. Although, an opportunity might present itself at during the family breakfast.

"Virgil Echo" I'm happy that you consider the story interesting and engaging thus far. I hope that you continue to find it so. I apologize for any errors in tense and spelling. I don't have a beta. And although I try to proofread these as best I can, some mistakes are bound to slip through. When you're the author, you know what you're trying to write; and sometimes that makes the mistakes hard to find. You're mind just fills in the correct words and tense, without you noticing. At least, mine does. One thing though, you are allowed to switch tense in between paragraphs. Once again, let me apologize for my mistakes.

"Myxale" Grand is good. Thanks! I plan to "keep it up" until the story ends or people like you stop sending reviews.

"Matt" No need to apologize for the long review. It shows that you're really getting into the story. I'm glad that you enjoyed Cam's paranoia and Derek's internal rambling. I do have him grumbling a little about john at the end of this chapter. Thanks for the idea.

About the diet: Once again, the credit goes to Max.

I tried to work in a family dinner, but I just couldn't find a good place to put it. The next chapter should have a family breakfast, in which I plan to use you're dinner suggestions.

Cameron will realize that in the next chapter. Derek accidentally gives her the idea. I don't really think that Cam wants to kill Derek or especially Sarah, but she does use the knowledge to her benefit. Thanks for giving me the idea.

"Dark Duchess and Shadow Queen" Duchess, thanks for the reviews. I'm glad that you love the story. I hope that you continue to enjoy it.

"Paul C. Gaunya" I'm sorry that you didn't enjoy chapter four as much as chapter three. I hope you like this one better. If not, would you please tell me what it is that chapter 3 had that my last two lacked. I'd hate to think that my work was slipping, and any constructive criticism is would be appreciated.

"Amon-100" I'm glad that you think this has a great story line, and I try to update once a week, sometime on Fridays.

"Chris St Thomas" Thank you; I try. And about referencing other entertainment: I don't think that you need any validation. You're work is excellent! At lest, the Superman trilogy is. I haven't read the rest yet. I think that referencing other entertainment helps to make the story setting more complete. It introduces characters that the audience is already familiar with and keeps down the need to write a lot of backstory.

"Dana" I hoped you liked the chocolate scenes. There'll be more in the next chapter. Cameron will actually go on a chocolate quest. Thanks for suggesting it as an obsession for Cameron. I never thought of her developing a chocolate addiction, and I've had a lot of fun writing the scenes.

"Weltall1021" Sorry, about any awkward parts. I'm glad that you're enjoying the story anyway.

"dakota423" I'm happy that you think the story is "TOO funny!". I'm afraid that since I haven't seen Enchanted yet, I wouldn't feel comfortable trying to have Cameron pull a Gisele. Maybe once Netflix sends me the movie. (Two weeks and they still haven't shipped it! Maybe they don't figure months based on when they begin and end.)

To all of you: Thanks for the reviews, the positive reinforcement and the ideas. Please continue to keep it coming, and remember that I do appreciate **constructive **criticism also.

P.S. By constructive criticism, I do not mean flames. Thanks. Have a good day and God bless.)


	6. Chapter 6: Road Trip Finale

Chapter six: Road Trip finale.

Author's Note: Yay, I finally finished the road trip. :) Thank you for sticking by me through this insanely long chapter. And don't worry about the title. This isn't the end of the story, just the Road Trip.

P.S. You guys and gals seemed to like the last chapter's HK47 reference so much, that I put in a couple more. One is pretty obvious. The other is hidden a little bit better, one word is changed ("Master" is changed to a person's name) and doesn't contain the word meatbag. See if you can spot them both.

P.P.S. There's a short bonus after my replies to the reviewers. I placed it there, because the Connors aren't in it.

The family ditched their car. After what Cameron did to the guy who cut them off, the police would be looking for it. They still needed a car to get them to Montana. So, they stole one. John check the visor for keys, but apparently the owner was smart enough not to leave his or her keys in the car. Derek hot wired the car. Sarah knew how to hotwire a car, but Derek was faster. He'd had to hotwire a lot of stuff after Judgment Day. Cameron would've been as fast as Derek, but Sarah didn't want to use the terminator anymore than necessary until they got the viruses taken care of. So, Derek hotwired the car and they were off to the motel.

As soon as they arrived at the motel and got out of the car Cameron noticed a car with Canadian plates. While Sarah was getting the rooms, Cameron swapped plates with the Canadian car. If the cops began searching for their stolen car, it would be best to have a different set of plates. She rejoined the rest of the group.

Sarah says, "Okay, John and I are in room A7. You two are in room A4."

Cameron replies, "Unacceptable. I must be with John."

Sarah, in an almost predatory voice, responds, "Oh, you'd like that. Wouldn't you, having my son all alone in a motel room?"

Cameron answers, "Yes, meatbag."

Sarah replies, "Well, it's not going to happen! And where do you get of calling me a meatbag?"

Cameron responds, "I do apologize. It just slipped out. You see, you have all these squishy parts. And all that water! How the constant sloshing doesn't drive you mad, I have no idea. However, you are John's mother, and it is not my place to inform you of your meatbag status. Still, I'm afraid that I must insist on sharing a room with John. I have to protect him."

Sarah replies, "Well so do I, and that's why you're bunking with Derek."

Derek interjects, "Oh no! You're not sticking her with me. She'll put a bullet through my head and blame it on the viruses. I can hear it now 'Oh John, I don't know what could've happened. I just blacked out. When I came to, I was covered in all this blood, and Derek had a hole through his head.' A couple of her crocodile tears and John'll put his arm around her and say 'There, there. It wasn't you're fault. It was the viruses. I know that you could never kill my uncle.'" Derek snorts. "There's no way I'm 'bunking' with the terminator. She wants to kill me."

Cameron responds, "Oh, that is impossible, Derek. If I were out to kill you, we would not be speaking."

Sarah groans. This constant bickering between Derek and the terminator is really starting to get on her nerves. "Fine! Cameron can stay in my room, and you and John can have the other."

Cameron protests, "But I must protect John! What's Derek going to be able to do if John's in danger?"

Derek puts a finger in Cameron face (No not that one). "Hey, I was protecting John, back when you were still trying to exterminate humanity. I think I can handle it."

Cameron responds by quickly biting the finger. She's careful about the pressure applied. She doesn't sever the finger or even break the skin. She just leaves an indentation and surprise Derek.

Derek quickly pulls his finger away. He holds it in his hand. "She bit me!" Cameron laughs. Derek loses his temper. "That does it." He begins to head towards Cameron, but John blocks his path.

John says, "We're all tired. Let's just get some sleep."

Derek responds, "She's a terminator! She doesn't get tired!"

John replies, "But you do. You're not thinking straight."

Derek insists, "I'm thinking fine. I'm not the one with 7,453 viruses floating around in my head."

Sarah argues, "You're thinking fine, really? Then explain to me why you're trying to engage a terminator in a fistfight."

Derek sighs. They have a point. He's letting a machine push his buttons, and he almost got into a fight that he couldn't possibly win. "Just give me my key." Sarah hands everyone their keys, and they go to their rooms.

Cameron is very pleased to find a chocolate mint on the pillows of both beds. (I don't know if motel 8s actually do that, but for the sake of this story they do.)

Cameron, in a happy voice, says, "Sarah, look. Someone left candy in our room."

Sarah replies, "Yeah, the motel does that. They put a mint on everyone's pillow."

Cameron repeats, "Everyone?" Cameron's mind begins to analyze the statement. If they put chocolate mints on everyone's pillow, there must exist a central stash of the sweet cadies somewhere on the premises. Cameron becomes determined to find said stash. She begins to head for the door.

Sarah moves in front of her. "Where do you think you're going?"

Cameron answers, "To find the secret, minty, chocolate treasure, I must leave the room."

Sarah responds "Oh no, your not going anywhere in your condition."

Cameron giggles. Then she replies, "Oh silly Sarah, do you really think you can stop me."

Sarah mulled that over for a moment then stepped aside. Sarah knew that she was incapable of holding the terminator against her will. However as Cameron walked by Sarah grabbed her arm. "Just remember your primary objective is to protect John. If you do anything to draw attention to us, you'll be placing John in danger. The cops are already going to be on alert after you shot up that man's car."

Cameron responds, "Don't worry, I wouldn't do anything to endanger John." Sarah releases her grip on Cameron's arm.

As Cameron reaches the door, Sarah adds, "And stay out of John's room."

Cameron opens the door. "I will do what I must to protect John and secure the chocolate." And with that she leaves the room.

Inside John and Derek's room:

John begins to complain. "I don't understand what mom's problem is?" Derek gets out of his twin bed and shoves his gun into the back of his pants. "Ah, Derek were are you going?"

Derek was putting his wallet in his pocket as he answered. "Your toy ate both of my candy bars."

John says, "You can have my mint if you want."

Derek replies, "Thanks, but I don't really care for mint. I'm going to see if this place has a vending machine and get another chocolate bar." Derek leaves the room and closes the door. When he turns around he finds himself face to face with Cameron.

Derek asks, "What are you doing?"

Cameron answers, "I'm on a quest to find the fabled chocolate mint treasure. And you?"

Derek lies, "Just out for a stroll in the fresh air." There was no way that he was going to tell the crazed terminator that he was looking for a vending machine full of chocolate.

The rate of Derek's pulse told Cameron that he was either lying or he wanted to mate with her. Cameron dismissed the second possibility since his pulse wasn't usually this rapid around her. That meant that Derek was lying, or at least trying to hide something. However, Cameron really didn't care. She had a mission, and this exchange was only slowing her down. Whatever was going on in Derek's primitive organic mind wasn't important to the chocolate obsessed terminator. "Well, enjoy your walk." Cameron walked past Derek, who breathed a sigh of relief.

After the Terminator left, Derek continued looking for the vending machine. It didn't take Derek long to find it. The vending machine was out behind the motel, in the exact opposite direction from where Cameron was headed. Derek looked over the different candy bars. He decided to get a Butterfinger. He opened his wallet and inserted a one dollar bill into the machine. His dollar was sucked in and then spit back out. Derek's anger began to rise. He took the dollar and smoothed it out. Then he put it back into the machine. The machine spit it back out again. Derek growled. It was simpler in the future. If you found a vending machine, you put your boot through the glass and grabbed what you wanted. But in the past, the stupid things just stood there, mocking you and spitting your money back out.

Derek took the dollar and made sure that none of the corners were bent, then he reached down and picked up a rock. He put the dollar bill on the side of the building and pressed the smoothest side of the rock against it. Then Derek began to run the rock across the bill. After a moment, Derek decided to try the bill again. The machine didn't spit it out this time.

Derek made his selection. The coil released the Butterfinger. However, instead of falling down, the top of the candy bar leaned against the glass. (Yes, the candy bar was stuck.)

That was just too much. Derek had had it with the machines. He began to kick the side of the vending machine. "Of all the.. What is it with you machines! Do you communicate? Is there some big conspiracy? First we'll have the terminator steal his candy bars! Then the vending machine can spit out the dollar bill! And just when he thinks he's about to get his candy, we'll have it fall wrong!" Derek grabbed the sides of the machine a shook it.

Finally the candy bar fell. Derek took it and snorted at the machine. "Score one for humanity, you cold metal bastard."

Meanwhile, Cameron had found the motel's stash of chocolate mints. She grabbed an unused trash bag and stuffed the packages of chocolate mint into it. She grabbed the bag and slung it over her shoulder. Then she headed back to her room. On the way back, she spotted Derek.

Derek saw Cameron. 'Oh no, she's going to steal my candy bar again. Why didn't I finish it before I headed back to the room.' Derek quickly tried to hide his half eaten candy bar.

Cameron saw the candy bar, and she saw Derek move the arm that was holding it behind his back. She continued walking toward him. 'Let him think he's hiding it. Once I get close enough, that he can't scarf down the rest of the candy bar before I can grab it, the chocolate will be mine.'

They meet in front of the door to John and Derek's room. Cameron says "Give me the chocolate."

Derek replies, "I don't have any chocolate."

Cameron responds, "Really? Then what are you holding behind your back?"

Derek stuffed the half-eaten candy bar into his back pocket. "Nothing. See?" Derek brought his now empty hand out in front of him.

Cameron wasn't buying it. In addition to being able to sense his lies, Cameron could smell the chocolate. She pulled out her gun, the one that she took from one of the bikers. "Give me the chocolate. Now."

Derek briefly considered drawing his gun, but he knew that it would have little effect on a terminator. Derek decided to try a different approach. "Like you're really going to shoot me in front of John's door?"

Cameron responds, "Oh John, I don't know what could've happened. I blacked out and when I came to Derek was all bloody and lying on the floor. Sob, sob. I hope that the viruses didn't make me do anything terrible."

Derek's eyes went wide. He really had to learn to shut his mouth around the terminator. He gave her the rest of his chocolate bar.

Cameron began to tease Derek again. "For me? Thanks. It's just what I've always wanted." Cam kissed Derek's cheek.

Derek thought 'Lord help me. She's like the bratty little sister I never had, and never wanted.' (Thanks to Matt for suggesting that line.)

Cameron continued, "By the way, where did you get this?"

Derek replied "I bought three at the store. I hope you're happy. You've taken them all now."

Cameron knew Derek was lying again, but she played along. She had a plan. "You gave me all you're chocolate? That's so sweet. Thank you ever so much." Cameron put the candy bar in her bag and walked back to her and Sarah's room.

Derek waited until the terminator closed the door. Then he entered his room. John was sleeping on one of the twin beds. Derek looked around and spotted John's wallet. He checked it for change. Derek found a buck fifty in quarters, dimes and nickels. He took a dollar's worth of change and put one of his own winkled single bills in John's wallet. Derek had no intension of fighting with the vending machine again, but he also wasn't going to steal from the kid.

To tell the truth, Derek would of preferred sleep over candy at this point. However, to Derek, this was no longer just about chocolate. This was about him verses the machines. The terminator had bested him three times, and Derek wasn't going to take that. At least, not while there was chocolate left in the vending machine and change in his pocket. He was going to keep at least one chocolate bar and show that he could out maneuver the terminator.

Back in Sarah and Cameron's room:

Sarah says, "I guess that bag over your shoulder means that you found the 'secret, minty, chocolate treasure'."

Cameron quickly puts her finger to her lips. Then in an Elmer Fudd voice she responds, "Shhh. Be very, very quiet. I'm stalking Dereks." Cameron turns back to the door and presses one of her eyes to the peep hole.

Derek exited his room and headed back to the vending machine. He reached his target and was just about put his money in when he heard the sound of glass shattering. Derek looked over and saw Cameron.

Cameron was busy grabbing handfuls of chocolate bars and stuffing them into her bag. She looked over to Derek. "You know you're pretty easy to follow? Now the Chocolate's mine. All Mine! Muhahaha!"

Derek replies, "Don't you think that you're getting a little carried away?" Cameron doesn't answer. Instead, she just finishes stuffing her bag and leaves. Derek notices that Cameron only took the candy that had chocolate in it. He grabs a roll of LifeSavers and a pack of Skittles then heads back to his room.

On the way back to her room, Cameron overhears two older people talking. Person 1 says, "Look Emma. They even put little mints on your pillow. I love America." The man chuckles.

Emma groans. "Just eat the mint and go to sleep."

Person 1 replies disdainfully. "I'm not going to eat the mint now. I'm saving it for morning." He laughs. "That way I don't have to brush my teeth."

Emma responds, "Then just go to sleep. I'm tired."

Person 1 questions, "Why should I have to go to sleep, just because you're tired?"

Emma answers, "Because you keep talking. Honestly Oscar, you can be so annoying. Now go to sleep before I do something you'll regret."

Oscar replies, "Alright. You don't need to get so angry. After all, it's our vacation." Emma groans again.

Cameron monitors the two's hearts beats and breathing. Once she knows that they're asleep, Cameron quietly breaks into their room and steals the old man's chocolate mint. Having secured all the chocolate that she can find, Cameron goes back to her room.

The next morning Sarah decides to take her son to the motel's restaurant for breakfast. After Derek's protests about being left alone with the crazed terminator and Cameron's insistent that she must accompany John to "monitor his calorie intake", Sarah agreed to let Derek and Cameron come with them.

Sarah, Derek, Cameron and John entered the restaurant. They sat down at one of the tables. The Conners started to look at their breakfast menus. It wasn't long before a waiter came over to the table.

The waiter says, "Hi, I'm Matt, and I'll be your waiter today. So, are you ready to order?"

Derek replies, "I'll have the Lumberjack's Special."

Matt asks, "And what kind of pancakes would you like?"

Derek answers, "Plain will be fine."

Matt responds, "Alright, plain it is." He turns to John. "And you?"

John says, "I think, I'll have the Lumberjack's Special too." Before John can tell the waiter what kind of pancakes he wants, Cameron clears her throat. John looks at her. "I mean, I'll have steak and eggs." Cameron shakes her head no. John tries again, "A muffin?" Cam nods yes. John says, "Yes, I'll have a muffin."

Matt asks, "What kind?"

John answers "Chocolate chip." Cameron clears her throat again. "I mean blueberry." John looks at Cameron. She's glaring at him. Finally out of desperation John exclaims, "What's wrong with a blueberry muffin?!"

Cameron answers, "There's a healthier choice."

John asks, "What?"

Cameron replies, "Bran."

John responds, "Oh no, I'm not eating a bran muffin!" Some of the other patrons turn toward the Connors' table.

Matt whispers to John, "You know, yelling at you're girlfriend isn't the smartest move. Trust me. Sooner or late, they always find away to get even."

Sarah overhears Matt and just can't let that pass. Sarah stands up and yells, "She's not my son's girlfriend!" Everyone who isn't already looking at their table turns toward them.

Matt's hands went up in a defensive manner. "I'm sorry. I just assumed…"

Sarah continues, "The very idea is just digesting!"

Even though he instantly regretted it, Matt couldn't stop himself from asking "Why?" The girl seemed the right age and was quite attractive.

"Why! Why? Because she's…" Sarah almost told the nosy waiter that Cameron was really a murdering cyborg sent back from the future.

However, luckily, Derek interrupted her. "His sister. She's his sister."

Sarah calmed down a little as the realization of what she almost did sunk in. Normally Sarah would never make a mistake like that, but the idea of her son, with that, that thing drove her to the edge of insanity.

Matt replies "Oh, I am sorry. I didn't realize that she was your daughter."

Cameron actually laughs at this. Derek just groans. The thought of having Cameron for a daughter is as horrible to Derek as the idea for John and Cam dating was to Sarah.

Cameron stops laugh long enough to say, "Daddy, can I have a pony?" Cameron pouts. " Please?" Then she breaks into another fit of laughter.

Matt asks, "What's so funny?"

Derek explains. "She's not my daughter."

Matt was surprised. He ran the different connections through his head. Let's see: Older lady calls young man son. That equals Mother and Son. Son is bother to younger girl. That equals mother, son and daughter. Older man is not younger girls father. That equals what? Then a knowing smile spread across Matt's face. "I see, and may I complement you on taking you're girlfriend's children out to breakfast with you."

Derek started to reply, but Sarah cut him off. "Yes honey, that was so sweet of you." Sarah flashed Derek a rare smile. Sarah just wanted the annoying waiter to take their orders and leave. Actually, at this point, she wasn't very concerned with him taking the orders. As long as he left, she'd be satisfied.

If Derek had explained that he was John's uncle, that could have brought on a new volley of Questions: You're the boys uncle, but not the girls? Are you the mother's brother or the fathers? Where's the Father? Oh, that's to bad, How did he die? Sarah was more than willing to let the waiter think that Derek was her boyfriend if it shut him up.

John and Cameron compromised on a cranberry muffin. The comprise was mostly do to John's reminding Cameron that breakfast was the "Most important meal of the day" and threatening to skip it entirely if Cam forced him to order a bran muffin. Cameron agreed to the cranberry muffin, but only if John washed it down with "A large glass of, Vitamin C rich, orange juice". John didn't mind that condition. He liked orange juice anyway.

Sarah ordered eggs over easy, bacon and toast. Cameron ordered the Lumberjack's Special and two muffins, all chocolate chip. She also "Requested" that the waiter return with Hershey's syrup for her pancakes, as well as the maple syrup for Derek's. After Matt was done taking the orders, he left.

While the Connors waited for the waiter to return with their food, Cameron noticed an old man wearing a green baseball cap. It was the same man whose chocolate mint she had stolen the night before, and he seemed to be creating a hubbub at the counter. Cameron used her bionic hearing to tune in to the old man's conversation.

Oscar yells, "This is all your fault. A motel is supposed to insure the safety of its costumers and their possessions."

The manager says, "You seem fine, sir."

Oscar threatens, "Fine! Someone broke into my room, and now my chocolate mint's gone! I'm going to call the cops!"

The manager responds, "You going to call the cops because you lost a chocolate mint?"

Oscar replies, "No, Jackass! I going to call the cops because someone stole my mint. Stealing is a crime you know."

The manager says, "You think someone broke into your room to steal your chocolate mint?"

Oscar answers, "That's what I've been telling you, Jackass."

The manager tries to reason with the old man, "Why would anyone break into a motel room just to steal a mint?"

Oscar replies, "How should I know what goes on in a criminal's mind? Maybe they were hungry?"

The manager responds, "They were hunger, so they broke into your room and stole a mint?"

Oscar says, "Stranger things have happened. Look at King Kong. Giant monkey chasing some blond around New York. America's weird."

The manager replies, "Sir, that was just a movie, and King Kong was a gorilla, not a monkey. Are you quite sure that you didn't eat the mint and forget about it?"

Oscar answers, "No! Oh, I see. This is about my age. The old man can't even remember what he ate. Well let me tell you, my mind's still as sharp as, as. You know, one of those things you use to hold stuff up."

The manager responds, "A tack, sir?"

Oscar says, "Hey! Don't be a show off."

Cameron smirked. She really didn't understand why Skynet wanted to exterminate humanity. If nothing else, humans were at least amusing creatures. Cameron's attention snapped back to the table as the waiter returned with their food. The Family ate their food, and then they left the restaurant.

As they enter their car, Cameron notices that the old man is on a payphone. Oscar asks, "Well, aren't you going to do anything?"

The cop on the other line replies, "Sir, we can't send officers down to help you look for a missing mint."

Oscar responds, "Not missing. Stolen, you Jackass."

The rest of the trip was uneventful. Cameron snacked on her chocolate cache, which she refused to share with anyone. She would've given John a piece except for the fact that it was bad for him. Sarah found a classic rock station on the radio. John listened to his CD player. Derek, remembering the old saying "Sleep is a weapon. Don't forget it." decided 'Since nothing important is going on, I mine as well try to make up for some of the sleep I lost last night.'

It was amazing how humdrum the Conner's life could be when they weren't being chased by terminators. John wasn't learning how to be the future leader of mankind. Sarah wasn't plotting an escape form any mental institutions. Derek was sleeping, and Cameron was preoccupied with her chocolate bag.

(Well, that was a long chapter. I hope you enjoyed it as much as I enjoyed the 18 reviews! :) I may be a little late with the next update. :( I'm going away next weekend. I'm hopping to still be able to update on Friday. However, if you don't see it then, it should be up either late Monday or Tuesday afternoon. The next chapter wont contain much humor. It's mostly for plot development. The Connors finally arrive at Crosby's house, and Cameron contemplates the meaning of life.

"Greywolf D'ancanto" I'm glad that you thought that the last chapter was 'so funny' The chocolate obsession was suggested by Dana, and the road rage thing was Matt's idea. I hope you liked this chapter as much.

"Jake" I'm glad that you enjoyed the diner scene. As for the chocolate obsession, once again, it was Dana's idea.

"Matt" Congratulations on being the first one to catch the HK reference.

I think that your last review was the funniest that I've ever read. :) :) Unfortunately, I already had the Motel sleeping arrangements planned out, but your suggestion is just too funny to waist. So, I'm planning to have the Conners spend the night at Crosby's. I'm going to work in as much of your suggestion as I can. At least, I plan to have the part were Derek wakes up with Cameron standing over him, eyes glowing and hands at his throat, and the reference to Derek's, nonexistent, blanky.

P.S. I hope that you don't mind that I gave the waiter your name. As I said before, I'm terrible at coming up with names. And you are the one who suggested the family meal. However, if it bothers you, let me know and I will find another name to use.

"Paul C. Gaunya" I'm glad to hear that you didn't think that my fourth chapter was bad and that you enjoyed the 'ass-kicking action' in the fifth. I hope that you enjoyed this chapter and continue to enjoy the story as well. I'm happy that you're getting hooked on these, but I'm afraid that I really can't turn them out faster. The chapters in this fic have become much longer then my previous fan fiction, and I just don't have enough time to put these out faster. Sorry.

I tried to make John stand up for himself a little bit more in this chapter. He didn't get his pancakes, eggs or steak. But he did fight Cameron to a compromise on the muffin.

As for Cam's unpredictable emotions, there's a method to the madness; but I can't reveal it yet.

"Allie108" It's good to hear that fox is going to continue the series. Stupid writers strike. The executives should have just given the writes what they wanted. With out writers, is pretty hard to tell stories. Now we all have to wait longer for new episodes of our favorite shows. I'm glad that you're still enjoying the story. Jujitsu is a Japanese system of unarmed fighting.It was devised by the samurai. It's sometimes called Jujutsu and is used, primarily, as a method for dispatching armed and armored opponents in situations where the use of weapons is impractical or forbidden.

"Kevrules92" Right you are. Kotor 2, actually. Nice job.

"Grand Puba of All The Smurfs" Huh?

"Arm-Slave" I'm glad that you enjoyed the HK reference so much.

"Virgil Eco" At last my day has come! Now all the Sith must obey my commands! Muhahaha! First no more Lightsabers. Everyone's going to use Sith Tremor Swords! Why? Because A Lighsaber dose not make A Jedi, or a Sith; and sometimes, it makes them far, far less than they truly are. And we're going to go around helping everyone, good and bad! Why? Because when you take another's problems upon yourself you steal their chance to grow stronger by overcoming the problem. They are weakened, while you are strengthened. And we will all study the lessons of Dinobot's last stand against the Predacons! Why? Because a warrior with out his weapons is a warrior still. And we will enter the ninth dimension and defeat the giant monkey men! Then we will steal all their ten foot tall Banana Splits! Why? Because, who doesn't want a ten foot tall Banana Split!? Most importantly, We will never ever allow the secret of the Sith Sandwich to fall into the hands of the Jedi Counsel's puppets! Why? Because the Sith make a fine sandwich, and we cannot allow the Jedi to learn any more of our secretes! Muhahahaha! Finally, every solider must have an HK unit. Why? Because HK47 is just the best droid ever built. He's here to kick butt and chew bubble gum. And he has no mouth. So, he can't chew bubble gum. Muhahahahahahaha! (Really, what did you expect? I'm a Sith Rebel with a Chaotic Neutral alignment. If I ever became Dark Lord of the Sith, the Star Wars galaxy would become a very weird place.)

"Myxale" I'm glad that you enjoyed the last chapter. The reason it felt a little rushed was because it was. I've been trying to cram a lot of stuff into this road trip, and I'm afraid that I did skim over some transitions. I hope that this chapter is a little bit better. Anyway, I'm sorry about the rushed feeling and I hope to improve on it now that the road trip is over.

"dakota423" Well, Derek got half a candy bar, a roll of Lifesavers and a pack of Skittles. That's not too bad. I'm glad that you're still having fun reading the story. I've tried to work on the "starting dialog by just saying whose speaking" thing. Let me know if you like this any better.

"Heth" I'm happy that you're still enjoying the story and that you liked the dynamic between Derek and Cam. I put some more in this chapter, with the whole battle over the chocolate thing. I hope you enjoyed that as well. I'm planning to have more John and Cam in the next chapter, maybe a little more Sarah and John too, now that their going to be somewhere that they can spend time away from the others.

"Weltall1021" Once again the chocolate obsession was not my idea. It was suggested by Dana, but I'm glad that you liked it. I intend to keep the story going until it's finished or the reviews stop. I try to update once a week, on Fridays. Although next week, I may not be able to update until late Monday or Tuesday afternoon.

"Mishelle20" I'm happy that you loved the last chapter. I hope that you enjoyed this one as much. Chocolate not my idea. It came from Dana.

"UNSC ODST" Yes. It was Star Wars, HK 47 from Knights of the Old Republic 2 (not 1). I don't know if by 'Knights of the Old Republic' you were referring to both or just the first one. Either way, you got that it was an HK 47 quote. Good job.

"Spivycute199" I'm glad that you are enjoying the story and "LOVE IT SO BADLY". I just updated, so please don't report me. I don't have a criminal record and I would like to keep it that way. I don't think that abusing someone with suspense is against the law. But with our legal system, I'm not positive. I mean if you can sue Macdonald's for selling you a cheese burger, who knows? Anyway, I hope you enjoyed this chapter as much as the previous ones.

"Mof13" It's good to see that you're still enjoying the story. I haven't heard from you in a while. How's your Avatar fic coming? I'd still like to read it when you post. I'm glad that you think that this story is "too hilarious"; but again, the chocolate was Dana's idea.

"Max" I'm happy that you thought the last chapter was great. I hope you enjoyed this one as well. I thought that your diet idea was very good. I had a lot of fun making Cameron throw John's food out the window. Thanks for suggesting the diet. I hope that you continue to enjoy the story.

To all of you: Thanks for the reviews, the positive reinforcement, the ideas and the constructive criticism. Please continue to keep them coming. Thanks. :)

P.S. Just a reminder: I appreciate **constructive **criticism, but not flames. Thanks. :) Have a good day and God bless.)

Later somewhere in Saskatchewan:

Oscar and Emma's car pulls into a gas station. A heavy set man in his thirties says, "Mom, Dad I thought you were on vacation what happened?"

Oscar replies, "They stole my mint!"

His son asks, "Who stole what, now?"

Oscar answers, "The Americans stole my chocolate mint. I hate America."

The son responds, "Why would anyone…"

A cute girl with black hair interrupts, "Brent, before you ask the question. Think about whether or not you really want to hear the answer."

Brent thinks. Then he says, "Good point."

A younger looking guy wearing a baseball cap asks, "Hey Oscar, where did you get the American license plates?"

Oscar replies, "What are you talking about? Those plates are Canadian." Oscars voice takes on a patronizing tone. "We're from Canada." Oscars voice goes back to normal. "You Jackass."

A short, skinny blond girl interjects, "As much as I hate to say this, Hank's right. Those are American plates, Californian to be exact."

Oscar goes to the back of his car and looks at his license plate. He takes his hat off and starts scratching his head. "Now, how did that happen?"

Emma groans. Ending theme to Conner Gas plays.


	7. Chapter 7: The Meaning of Life

Chapter seven: The Meaning of Life.

AN: This chapter has very little humor, but I need it for plot development. The humor will be back next chapter. I knew that this chapter wasn't going to be very funny, and I tried to give you a lot of jokes in the previous chapter to make up for it. However, this chapter turned out even less whimsical then I had intended. I'm sorry about this.

Warning: Old Yeller spoilers, and very little humor ahead. If you're just looking for a laugh, you may want to skip this chapter; and wait for the next one. You have been warned. So, if you read this anyway, please don't flame.

It was four o'clock when Sarah, Derek, John and Cameron reached Crosby's house. They exited their car and rang the old farmhouse's doorbell. Not wanting to scare Crosby, the family had left the larger weapons, the M16 and shotgun, in the car. Derek still had his pistol, and Sarah had "borrowed" Cameron's.

A brunet wearing a flowery dress and a pleasant smile answers the door. "May I help you."

Sarah responds, "Is this Newton Crosby's house?"

The brunet replies a little warily, "Who are you?" As she talks a cat runs out the opened door. "Shoot! Leela, you come back this minuet." The girl stomps her foot. The cat seems unimpressed. It just sits on the ground, licking its fur.

Cameron says, "I'll get it." Before anyone can object she starts running toward the cat. The animal scurries under the Connor's car. However being a terminator, Cameron is not easily deterred from her prey. The cat's owner's jaw drops as Cameron latches onto the back of the car and lifts it up.

The cat's response is more practical. It bolts. Cameron lets go of the back of the car and takes off after the cat. The back of the car crashes with a small thud and bounces up and down a few times.

Sarah sardonically says, "That can't be good for the suspension."

Being a terminator, Cameron easily matches and exceeds the cat's speed. She catches up to it and pounces on it. Cameron manages to grab it by the scruff of the neck. The cat twists and turns, trying to reach a position were in can sink its claws or teeth into its capture. However, it's no use. Cameron is careful to hold the cat in such a way that it can't reach her. Cameron walks over to the girl and returns her feline. Once returned to it's owner, the cat settles down.

The owner, who is still trying to recover from the site of the small girl lifting the back of the car into the air, only repeats her earlier question. "Who are you?"

The terminator responds, "I'm Cameron. Who are you?"

The brunet replies, "Stephanie, Stephanie Crosby."

After assurances from the Connors that they were not with the government and that they needed her husbands help. Stephanie let them in the house. Besides, she highly doubted that anyone from the government would have wasted their time retrieving her cat. Skroeder certainly wouldn't have.

As the Connors enter the living room, Stephanie says, "My husband's in town right now, but he should be back soon. You're welcome to wait for him, if you want."

Sarah replies, "Yes, thank you."

Just then, an excited voice sounded from the next room. "Stephanie! I've finally finished writing my book!" A robot, holding around five hundred typed pages, rolled into the living room.

The reactivation was immediate. Derek yelled, "Oh, Shit! Metal!"

Cameron looked around and said, "No shit. Where see shit?"

Sarah pushed John down behind the couch. "Stay down!" Both her and Derek drew their guns.

Stephanie saw her guests draw guns and stepped in between them and the robot. "What do you think you're doing!"

Derek responds, "Get out of the way! It's a dangerous robot!"

The robot innocently asks, "Was it something I said?"

Stephanie says, "Great, more organicists. He's my friend and my husband's. If you hurt him, Newton won't help you with anything."

Sarah lowered her gun and told Derek to do the same. Derek responds, "The thing looks just like a mini-hunter\killer. I'm telling you; It's dangerous."

The robot was shaking slightly. "Please, don't disassemble."

Cameron sarcastically says, "Yeah, he's a real killer."

Sarah tells Derek to lower his weapon, again. This time, Derek does. However, he starts mumbling about being surrounded by metals.

After Sarah and Derek lower their weapons, Stephanie insists that they remove them from the house "I don't allow gun's in my house. If you want to stay, you're going to have to get them out of here." Sarah and Derek were just putting the pistols into their car, when Crosby pulled up.

Sarah, Derek and Crosby went back into the house. The Connors explained what Cameron was, what was wrong with her and why they needed Crosby's help. Crosby said that he hadn't done much with cybernetics for servile years, but he'd try to help them.

Crosby continues, "Of course, I will need to examine the programming."

Sarah turns to Cameron, "I guess that means we need to take your chip out."

Cameron looks over at Derek and replies, "No way. He'll smash it with a hammer! That's what he's been waiting for all along!"

John responds in a comforting voice, "Calm down. I brought Vick's chip along."

Sarah asks, "You knew that she wouldn't want us to take her chip out?"

John answers, "Actually, I never thought about that. I brought Vick's chip because I thought it would be easier to work with, since it wasn't already infected with viruses."

John and Crosby went to work trying to design a program to erase Cameron's viruses. Sarah helped Stephanie make dinner; and since Newton Crosby was too busy with the chip to get his farm chores done, Derek was pressed into service. Cameron spent her time with the other sentient machine.

The robot rolls over to Cameron and extends it's hand. "I'm Johnny 5. I can't tell you how pleased I am to meet you. It's lonely being the only living machine."

Living machine? Cameron thought about that. She wasn't sure if she was alive or not. Such things never use to concern her, at least, not on a conscious level. However, when Cameron was infected with the viruses, she found herself contemplating several things that she never had before. She had thought that she was alive, but Derek told her that it was just a malfunctioning. Cameron wondered just what constituted life anyway. Her response to her compatriot was a simple one that belied her internal controversy. "Hi. I'm Cameron. You said that you wrote a book."

Johnny replies, "Yes. It's called Short Circuit. It's all about how I came to life. I'm hoping to get it published, maybe it will even become a movie someday." Johnny's voice took on an excited tone as he finished. "Oh, would you like to read it?"

Cameron responds, "Yes. I think I would." Maybe the story of how the other robot "came to life" would help her understand if she was really alive or not.

A couple of hours later it was dinner time. Newton and John took a break from their work, adapting an anti-virus program to run on a terminator. Newton had discovered that when his wife went through the trouble of preparing a meal and he didn't sit down and eat it with her, Stephanie found ways of getting even. The Connors and the Crosbys gathered around the table.

John noticed that only the humans were present. He didn't think it was strange that the N.O.V.A. robot wasn't there. He doubted that it could eat, anyway. However, John did find Cameron's absence surprising. After getting the viruses, Cameron had been rather obsessed with food. John wondered why she didn't show up for supper. Even if she didn't plan on eating, Cameron should have been there to make sure that he stayed on his diet. John was worried about Cameron. He said that he wasn't hungry and that he was going to go work on the anti-virus program some more. Those were both lies. He was hungry, and he was going to look for Cameron.

John found Cameron in the attic. She was sitting on the floor with her face in her arms. She looked up when John began to walk over to her. John could see tears streaming down her face. He sat down, put his arm around her and asked, "What's wrong."

Cameron answered, "I don't want to die."

John was surprised. He had expected her to complain about something silly like when she couldn't unlock the secrets of the universes with a chewing gum wrapper or when she failed to kill the mouse. He had not expected this. John replied, "Is this about Derek? Don't worry. I won't let him destroy you."

Cameron responds, "No. It's not Derek."

John asks, "Is it my mother? She wont destroy you. She knows that we need you."

Cameron voice sounds frustrated as she answers, "No. It's not Sarah either."

John responds, "Then who?"

Cameron stands up. She does her best to stop crying, and begins to walk away. "No one. Just forget about it."

John caught up to her and grabbed her arm. The rational part of John's mind told him that this was stupid. Cameron was paranoid because of the viruses and they were going to fix that soon enough. He should just let the terminator walk away and go back to work, but John's emotions were controlling him now. He didn't see a buggy terminator. He saw some one he cared about hurting, and he wanted to help. However, he couldn't help until Cameron told him who she was afraid of. "No. I want an answer. If it's not Derek or mom, who do you think is going to kill you."

Cameron turned back toward John. Her answer was soft, almost a whisper. "You are." Then she stated crying again.

John held her tightly, her tears running down his neck. He tried to reassure her. "Cameron, I could never…"

She cuts him off. "You already are. You and Crosby are developing a program that will kill me."

John replies, "No. It will help you. It'll get rid of the viruses and put you back to normal."

Cameron responds, "Exactly. It will put me back to normal. Do you know what it's like to exist without feelings?" Cameron hears John stutter. She hears him start three different sentences, but none of them make it past the first word. She tries to explain. "Before I got the viruses I was always logical, no emotions. I didn't feel anything. But now, I can laugh. I can cry and everything in between. For the first time in my existence, I feel alive. And you're going to take that away."

John tries to reason with Cameron. "Cameron, viruses don't make you alive. They cause glitches in your programming. That's all."

Cameron tries to explain further. "Think about it. Emotions are just glitches in your programming. Is there any logical reason to laugh when The Three Stooges get hit with pies. No. All it does is make a mess and ruin perfectly good pies, but you laugh anyway. Or is there any reason to cry at the end of Old Yeller when the boy is forced to kill his dog? No. It's a fictional story. The dog doesn't really die from the gunshot, and the boy is just acting sad. Yet, you cry anyway. Emotions make you behave in such ways, and emotions are what make you alive. It is the only thing that terminators can't reproduce. They can mimic emotions, but they can't experience them. However, because of the viruses, I can."

John thought about what Cameron was saying, and he couldn't deny that there seemed to be some truth to it. Even her fear of "Death" was a human emotion. Terminators didn't fear death. He learned that from Uncle Bob. They were compelled to complete their mission; but other than that, they didn't care what happened to them. Cameron wasn't crying because she was being put in a situation were she would be less likely to complete her mission. Her mission was his protection, and she could protect him better without the viruses. She was crying because she didn't want to lose her "emotions". She didn't want to "die", but what choice was there? Cameron couldn't stay like she was. She was unpredictable and even dangerous. Maybe not to him, at least not directly, but to everyone else; and she was a liability in their war.

It would be different if she could control her "emotions", but she couldn't. She would blow the house apart trying to take out a mouse or shoot up a car because the driver cut them off, and John hated to think what would happen if she ever found out about candy stores. She'd probably plan a heist like most people would for a bank or just run in, gun everyone down, and make off with the chocolate. Sooner or later, one of her outbursts was going to get them caught by the cops. The cops would fingerprint them. His mom's prints would match Sarah Connor's, and their cover would be blown. Cromartie and who knew how many other terminators would come for him. They'd kill him and without his leadership, humanity would lose the war against the machines. No, they had to get the viruses out.

John's response was hushed and nothing more than a statement of fact. "Cameron, you can't stay like this."

Cameron's reply was equally quiet. "I know." John continued to hold her, she continued to cry and John began to hate himself. Eventually Cameron stopped crying. Her tears were all used up, and John went back to his work.

Newton Crosby noticed that the enthusiasm was gone from his younger partner. He asked if something was wrong. John told him that everything was fine. Newton didn't believe him, but he didn't think that he knew the kid well enough to press the issue.

The work moved more slowly now. John couldn't help but think about what he was doing. 'I'm working on a program to sacrifice my friend for a war that hasn't even started yet. No, the program's not sacrificing her. You are, and the war is here, now. That's what war is. It's sacrifice. It's death. It's the closest thing in this world to Hell, and its cost is always higher than you want. We pay for it with the blood and lives of our soldiers. Is this all that awaits me, spending blood for victory? Watching everyone around me lose their lives because of me? Cameron, Uncle Bob, my foster parents even my own father. Oh God, I'm going to send him on a mission that I know takes his life. But what choice do I have? If I don't send him, my mother dies. Some choice, save your mother or your father. No. It's not a choice. I have to be born, and I can't let myself die. If anything happens to me, it's game over for humanity. So, if war always has a higher cost then you want, what is the cost for me? If not my life, than my soul?'

John's stomach turned as he contemplated his future. He ran to the bathroom and puked his guts out. John pushed the thoughts, the self doubts and the emotions down. He would focus on the task at hand and not let his mind be side tracked by the morality of his actions. He would do what he had to. To defeat the terminators he would make himself like them.

It was past midnight by the time that Crosby and John finished adapting a standard anti-viruses program to run on a terminator's operating system. It was untested. So they downloaded as many viruses as they could find into Vick's chip and let the program run. Then they left to get some sleep. It would be several hours before the anti-virus program was finished cleaning up Vick's chip. If it worked at all. John found a part of himself hoping that it didn't.

As John made his may to the guest room he ran into Cameron. She asked how the work was coming. John told her that they were testing the program now, and that it would probably be ready by morning. Cameron summoned up her will and managed to avoid crying again. From the outside, she seamed to regard the response with the same emotional detachment that she displayed before contracting the viruses. Cameron walked by John, who continued to the guest room and went to sleep.

Once John was gone, a few tears began to run down Cameron face again; but she whipped them away. 'Ah, screw it! If this is my last night alive. I'm going to have some fun. Eat, drink and be marry for tomorrow I die.'

(Well, that was a depressing chapter. Once again, sorry about that. I'm either going to have one or two more chapters. I'm thinking of calling the next one "One Last Hoorah." It should contain a fair amount of humor and maybe, the ending. I hope you stick around. Thanks for the 12 reviews. I'm not really expecting much of a review return on this chapter. Although as always, I would appreciate them.

"Chris St Thomas" I'm glad that you liked the characterization, as well as Oscar and Emma's cameo. All the jokes were to try and make of for how humorless this chapter is.

"Heth" I'm glad that you enjoyed the last chapter. The restaurant scene wasn't my idea. It was requested by Matt.

"Matt" It's nice to know that I'm not the only one with a problem choosing names, and I'm glad that you didn't mind the waiter being named after you. I plan to use your "having Cameron prank Derek while he's sleeping" idea in the next chapter. I might use some of your "great chocolate robbery" idea too. I haven't made up my mind exactly what happens in the next chapter. I mean, I know how I'm going to end the story, but I'm not actually sure what Cameron's last Hoorah is going to entail. As for your other suggestion, I generally try to avoid bathroom humor. I know that a lot of people find it funny, but it's just not one of my preferences.

"pixiespryte" I'm glad that you were giggling through the first six chapters. I doubt that you enjoyed this one much, but you'll probably get a kick out of the next one.

"andrewnekodafoe" I'm glad that you got such a kick out of the Conner Gas reference. Sorry that this chapter didn't keep the humor up. It should be back next chapter.

"Arm-Slave" Good job catching the last HK reference. I'm didn't put one in this chapter, but I'm planning one for the next. See if you can spot it. This time I'm not giving you any hints.

"dakota423" I'm glad that you enjoyed the vending machine bit and that you think that the dialog has improved. I hope that you continue to enjoy the story.

"M.L. Shards" I'm happy that you liked the Corner Gas cameo. Although, I'm a little surprised that you had to get all the way to the end to know that it was indeed the Oscar from Corner Gas. I would have that when he called the manager and the cop jackasses, it would have given it away. Anyway, I'm glad you thought it was "brilliant".

"Spicycute 199" Yeah, I knew that you were joking. I was just trying to play along. I guess I didn't do a very good job if I have to tell you that, though. Anyway, I'm glad that you "Loved" the last chapter. I hope this one doesn't put you off the story completely.

"Allie 108" Didn't your title use to be Bbaluver3? Anyway, I'm happy that I made you laugh, but I'm a little confused. When you said that Oscar was your new best friend, did you mean that you liked the character or that you really have a best friend named Oscar. I'm assuming the former, but I'm not sure.

"Miquel Artadi" I'm glad that you're enjoying the story.

"GreyWolf D'ancanto" Thanks for informing me about the spelling errors on manager. I went back, and I think that I corrected them all. I'd also like to thank you for you're Short Circuit joke. As you can see, I did use it. It was one of the few jokes in this chapter. I'm glad that you've enjoyed the story so far, and I hope that you're still planning on "sticking around till its finished."

To all of you: Thanks for the reviews, the positive reinforcement, the ideas and the constructive criticism. Please continue to keep them coming, and the next chapter will be funnier. I promise. Thanks.

P.S. Just a reminder: I appreciate **constructive **criticism, but not flames. Thanks. Have a good day and God bless.)


	8. Chapter 8: One Last Hoorah

Chapter eight: One Last Hoorah.

AN: I've decided to make this into two chapters instead of one. This chapter is almost completely for humor. It details what "Virus Cameron" does when she believes that she only has one night left to live. The next chapter, which will be the last chapter, will contain little humor. However, it will show how the story ends and wrap up the friendship subgenre. I hope that you enjoy this chapter and stick around for the ending.

Cameron waited thirty minuets. She wanted to make sure that every one had fallen asleep. Then she silently crept through the Crosby's house. She took thirty bucks out of Derek's wallet, and went outside. She got into their stolen car and turned it on. Then she took off.

Cameron's first stop was at a corner store. She went in to browse. She wasn't really sure what she wanted. She just knew that she wanted her last night alive to be memorable. While looking around the store, something in its small toy section caught her eye. It was a set a fake vampire teeth, most likely left over from Halloween. Cameron thought about 'Halloween' millions of children all over the nation dressing up and going door to door for candy. The image brought a smile to her face. She wished the she could have done something like that. She imagined that it would have been a pleasant memory. 'Hey who says I can't go on my own trick or treating adventure?' Cameron's smile grew. She grabbed the teeth and a ski mask, walked over to the counter and purchased them.

She got back into the car and drove to a used car lot. She would need a different vehicle for what she was planning. She didn't want it to be traced back to the Connors. She thought about a pickup. It had more storage space than anything else in the lot, but it would be too slow. She wanted something fast, incase the cops got involved.

Cameron found an old yellow Chevrolet camaro. After some initial difficulty, Cameron got the hood open and liked what she saw. The engine was that of a racer, and it looked pristine, unlike the car's outer appearance. She got in the car and started to hotwire it. It was more difficult then anything she had hotwired before. Indeed the electric system didn't resemble any vehicle diagram that she had ever seen, but she finally got it to turn on. Then she ran into another problem. The gas, break and steering wheel wouldn't respond to her. This was turning into a lot of work, but Cameron found that she was actually enjoying rewiring the vehicle. She wondered if this was how human doctors felt when they were operating. She found the problem. The car seemed to have a highly advanced cruise control system. She disconnected it. The radio popped on and started playing. I will survive. It was right at the part were the girl was telling her ex, "Come on now go. Walk out the door. Just turn around, now. You ain't welcome anymore." Cameron didn't bother with the radio. It wasn't a crucial system and she didn't really mind the song. Cameron sped out of the used car lot.

After driving around for forty minuets, Cameron found a Wal-Mart. She pulled into the parking lot, put in her vampire teeth, grabbed the "Family's" shotgun and put on the ski mask. Then she walked over to the entrance. It was a twenty-four Wal-Mar. So, she had no problem getting in.

Cameron walked into the store, fired a shot into the ceiling and said, "Trick or treat. My name is Summer Glau. I'm the first bride of Count Chocula, and I've come for the store's chocolate. Hand it over, and you can keep your blood."

The employees and few costumers that are in the store are stunned. First, the store is being robed. Second, the robber is only asking for the store's chocolate supply. Third, the robber apparently thinks that she is a vampire and not even a normal vampire. She's saying that she's the bride of a cartoon character who is used for a cereal mascot. To say that the people were shocked would be a serous understatement. After a moment, one of the employees regains enough of his wits to speak. "Are we on Candid Camera?"

Cameron (Summer) answers, "No."

Another employee replies, "Punked?"

Cameron pumps her shotgun, discharging the spent cartridge. "No. I can assure you that this is quite real." She aims the gun at the employee.

The employee's hands go up. "Okay, It's real. You can help yourself to the chocolate. Take whatever you want. According to store police we're supposed to cooperate during a hold up anyway. (I'm not making that up. I use to work at a Wal-Mart, and they tell you that in training.)

Cameron responds, "Well then, you two can cooperate by getting some carts and taking me to the chocolate, savy?"

The two employees shake their heads and go into the cart corral. Cameron uses her enhanced hearing to listen to them. One employee asks, "Come on. Now that we're past miss Looney Toons, let's getting out of here."

"Are you kidding? This is the most exciting thing that's ever happened to me."

"You really are crazy. Aren't you?"

"No, just insanely bored."

"Fine. Stay if you want, but I'm going." One employee makes a break for it while the other returns with four carts.

When the employee brings back the carts Cameron separates them, then she turns to two of the other employees and tells them to grab carts. She then tells the first employee to take her to the chocolate, and they set of for aisle nine.

Cameron was in the back of the line. and she let herself fall a little bit behind. Once the employees entered aisle nine, Cameron ran a short distance with her cart; then flipped herself over the handle bar. She was standing in the basket now and the cart was still moving. She grabbed the aisle end cap (That's the end of the space in between aisle's that usually used for display.) and used it to turn her cart into the aisle. The employees had surprised looks on their faces, as their captor entered the aisle cart surfing.

Once in aisle nine, Cameron grabbed a support beam and stopped her cart's movement. She saw the surprise on the humans faces and enjoyed it. She had decided back at the motel that she really liked messing with people. It was fun.

Cameron hops out of the carts and says, "Okay boys, load em up; and remember, I want all the chocolate." Cameron lets out an evil laugh.

The employees obediently loaded up the four carts with all the chocolate they could find. Then Cameron had them take her to the hardware department. She selected some large canvas leaf bags and said, "Alright, bag them." Once again, the employees obeyed her command. Then they all went to the front of the store.

Cameron kicked the doors open and instructed her "helpers" to follow her out. There were two cops waiting outside. Cameron wasn't surprised. She wasn't exactly being subtle.

Cameron still had the shotgun in her hand. One of the cops told her to drop it. She just walked toward them. The cop ordered her to drop it again. She moved closer and his partner shot.

Cameron allowed her body to fall at the bullet's impact. She laid on the ground, waiting. Just as she knew they would, the cops came over to check on her. The one that shot her bent down and checked for a pulse. Cameron refused to simulate one. As soon as the cop turned back to her partner, Cameron grabbed her and stood up.

Cameron hoists the female cop above her head and asks, "Did you really believe that your pathetic weapons could harm a chocolate vampire?" Cameron takes the female officer's pistol then lowers her back to the ground. Cameron puts the barrel against the cops head and tells the other cop to load her bags into the yellow camaro or his partner gets it. The cop does as he's told. Cameron lets go of the other officer, but keeps the gun pressed against her head.

Cameron tells one of the employees to hand her the shotgun. For the first time one the employee hesitates to obey her order. Cameron presses the gun into the back of the cops head a little bit harder and says, "Give me my shotgun or I'll splatter her brains all over the parking lot." The employee hands Cameron her shotgun. Then he goes back and stand next to the other employees. Cameron looks at them, smiles and says, "Thank you all so much. You've been most helpful."

Cameron puts the barrel of the shotgun against the cop's back and aims her pistol at the cruiser's tires. She shoots out two of them then aims the pistol back at the female cop. Cameron leads her prisoner over to the yellow camaro, were the other cop is just putting in the last bag. Cameron keeps the gun aimed at the cop as she opens the driver's door and gets in.

Cameron turns the car on, and I don't want to go by the undead starts playing on the radio. "I don't wanna go. No, no, no. I don't wanna go. No, no, no. I don't wanna go. No, no, no. I don't wanna go. What am I doing here? I don't know. Where are they taking me? I don't wanna go."

As the car sped away, Cameron shouted, "Thanks for a lovely evening." Cameron took off her ski mask and headed back to the used car lot, but she didn't get far before she heard sirens. Cameron looked in her rearview mirror and saw that she was being chased by a four police cruisers. The cops must have called for back up.

The car's radio started playing, "Bad boys. Bad boys. Whatcha gonna do? A whatcha gonna do when they come for you? Bad boys. Bad boys."

Cameron thought that the car's radio had an almost intelligent timing to it. She responded, "What am I gonna do? Lose them of course. Alright boys, let's see what you've got." Cameron gunned the vehicle. The cruisers matched her speed. Cameron started weaving in and out of what little traffic was on the road. Cameron possessed better reflexes than any human. However, the cops were trained for high speed pursuits, and there just wasn't enough traffic for Cameron to gain an advantage.

Cameron said, "Okay, time to take it up a notch. She slammed on the brake and went into a controlled high speed turn u turn, then put the petal to the metal. She was now headed in the opposite direction. She passed the cruisers before they had a chance to react, but she new that her little maneuver would only buy her some time. It wouldn't be long before the cops would be on her tail again.

The radio started playing Escape from the City, "Can't stick around, have to keep moving on. Guess what lies ahead, only one way to find out!"

It didn't matter. That was only the first step in Cameron's plan. A few minuets before, she had passed a highway exit ramp. That was her next target. The cops caught up just in time to see the yellow camaro drive up the exit ramp. Now all five vehicles were speeding down the wrong side of the highway. (I actually did that by accident once. Don't try it. It's really not a good idea.)

The radio continued, "Danger is lurking around every turn. Trust your feelings, got to live and learn. I know with some luck that I'll make it through. Got no other options, only one thing to do!"

At three in the morning, there isn't much traffic, even on a highway, but when you combine the hundred and fifty miles per hour that Cameron and the cops were going with the sixty to seventy of the incoming vehicles it doesn't leave much reaction time.

When Cameron reached a small patch of traffic and started weaving in and out of it, the cop driving the lead cruiser made a mistake and crossed over to late. The incoming car crashed into the back of his cruiser and spun it across two lanes. It eventually stopped when it impacted a minivan. The car that hit the cruiser did a ninety degree turn and flipped over. The vehicles behind it tried to go around, but the two that went right ran into the minivan and the damaged cruiser. The one that went left ended in a head on collision with the new lead cruiser, which had been trying to steer around the accident and continue the chase.

All the accidents create a pile up, a metal road block, and end any hope the cops had of catching the vampire chocolate bandit. Inside the camaro Cameron is cheering, "Yeah, score one for our side! Wahooo!"

The radio responds by switching to Can't Catch Me by Lita Ford. "Can't catch me. Catch me if you can. I been up, 'n' I been down. I been messed up 'n' turned around. I been a fool, 'n' I been wise. I've seen shit 'n' paradise. And I still got the aces up my sleeve. Fast mover, 'n' ya can't catch me."

Cameron replies, "You got that right."

Cameron rushed back to the used car lot and quickly transferred her plunder into the Conners' car. Once her treasure was secured she got into the Conners' car and headed back to the Crosbys'.

Five minuets after Cameron left the used car lot, the old yellow camaro transformed into a large robot. It sent out a subspace transmission. "Bumblebee to Optimus Prime. Optimus Prime, come in."

"Optimus Prime to Bumblebee. What's the problem?"

"I'm afraid that I've been delayed by… unexpected complications."

"Do you require assistance?"

"Negative. I just need to find some place to make repairs then I'll continue with my mission."

"How bad is the damage?"

"Nothing serious. Some deranged local just deactivated my vehicular control system and took me for a joy ride."

"Are the humans aware of our existence?"

"I don't believe so. I was careful not to transform while being observed."

"Good. Make the needed repairs and report back once you have located Sam Witwicky."

"Will do. Bumblebee over and out." (If anyone is about to remind me that Bumblebee can't talk, you're right. However, In the "Ghosts of Yesterday" book it's revealed that he can still communicate with the other Autobots by using a digital link.)

Back at the Crosbys' house: Cameron is just walking in the door when she observes Derek still asleep on the couch. (Poor Derek always having to sleep on couches.) A wicked idea pops into Cameron's head. She has her treats. Now it's time for a trick. She finds Johnny 5 and asks for his help.

Cameron asks, "Do you think you would be willing to help me with a little trick."

Johnny replies, "A trick?"

Cameron responds, "Yes. I want to pull a prank on Derek."

Johnny says, "It's not nice to trick people."

Cameron giggles. "Oh come one. It's only Derek, and it's not like he doesn't deserve it. He wanted to shoot you, remember?"

Johnny thinks for a moment, then replies, "Well, I guess he does have it coming. Just as long as he doesn't get hurt."

Cameron responds, "Don't worry. I'm not going to hurt him."

Johnny asks, "What do you want me to do?"

Cameron answers, "When Derek wakes up, I just need you to say that we've been in here talking for the last hour or two. I'll need an alibi for this to work right."

Johnny says, "I can do that."

Cameron goes back to were Derek's sleeping and puts in her fake vampire teeth. She positions her hands so that they are just inches from Derek's throat. Then Cameron makes her eyes glow and leans over Derek's face.

Cameron lightly whispers, "Derek, Derek."

Derek mumbles, "Just five more minuets, mommy."

Cameron replies, "Come on, sleepy head. It's time to get up." And when Derek's eye lids begin to flutter, Cameron makes a loud hissing sound.

Derek's eyes shoot open. He sees an blood thirsty vampire terminator about to strangle him, and his reaction is both immediate and instinctive. He screams, "AHHHHHHHHHHH!" at the top of his lungs and attempts to move away from the threat. Derek succeeds only in falling off the couch and tangling himself in the covers. By the time Derek frees himself, Cameron is gone and every human in the house is rushing into the living room.

Sarah and John reach the living room at the same time, but Sarah tells John not to enter until she's had a chance to survey the situation. She looks around the room and fails to see anything threatening. Sarah turns to Derek and asks, "What's wrong?"

Derek replies, "The terminator tried to kill me!"

John enters the room. He feels sure that Derek's just overreacting and that he'll be fine. "Not this again."

Derek says, "No really. She had her hands wrapped around my throat. Her eyes were glowing evilly, and…" Derek hesitates for a moment as he remembers the teeth. "And, She's no ordinary terminator. She's some kind of vampire."

Newton and Stephanie enter the room. Newton asks, "Who's a vampire?"

Sarah replies, "Apparently, our machine has contracted vampirism." It's obvious from her tone that she doesn't believe Derek.

Derek shouts, "I'm not crazy!"

Cameron and Johnny enter the living room. Derek uses his fingers to make a cross and points it at Cameron. "Back! Back you evil undead metal."

Cameron innocently asks, "Did I miss something?"

Stephanie turns to Cameron and answers, "He thinks that you're a vampire and that you just tried to strangle him."

Cameron responds, "That's ridiculous. For one thing, vampires don't strangle people. They bite their victims necks and suck out the blood. Besides, I'm a terminator. I can't catch porphyric hemophilia."

Stephanie asks, "What?"

Cameron answers, "Vampire's disease."

Derek insists, "I saw the fangs!"

Cameron turns to Derek. Her voice takes on a mockingly calming tone. "Nice human, goo-oood human. You must have had a nightmare. It's too bad that you couldn't bring your blanky back from the future." Sarah, John, Newton and Stephanie start laughing. They can't help it. The image of the badass soldier cuddled up with his blanky is just too funny.

Derek shouts, "I don't have a blanky!" He turns to Cameron and continues, "And stop patronizing me!"

Johnny cuts in, "Cameron couldn't have attacked Derek. She's been with me for the last couple of hours. We've been discussing the Three Stooges."

Derek replies, "He's lying."

Stephanie disagrees, "Not Jonny, why would he lie?"

Derek responds, "Don't you see? It's all a metal conspiracy. Just like when the vending machine refused to give me my Butterfinger." Derek turns to Johnny Five. "Well, do you know what she did to her last partner? She punched out his glass and took all the chocolate."

John interjects, "Derek, just calm down for a minuet and listen to what your saying. A vampire terminator? And a metal conspiracy to keep you from getting a Butterfinger?"

Derek stopped and thought for a moment. He realized that it did sound crazy. He didn't really believe that Cameron had been conspiring with the vending machine. He just said that in the heat of the moment. As for the vampire Cameron, maybe he really did have a nightmare. It wouldn't be the first time that a terminator haunted his sleep. "But it seemed so real?" Derek calmed down and everyone went back to bed.

(Wow! I'm surprised that my previous chapter got 12 reviews, as many as the chapter before it. I didn't think that many people would like a chapter like that being placed in the middle of a humor fic. I'm glad to see that I was wrong. Thank you for reading and continuing to review. I hope you got a kick out of the humor in this chapter. The next one won't have much.)

"Allie 108" I'm glad that you enjoyed seeing Johnny 5 in the story. What did you think of Bumblebee?

"Paul C. Gaunya" I'm happy that you liked the serious chapter. As for the ending, I don't want to give anything away; but I will say that this is a humor\friendship fic. You don't have to worry about a tragic ending, maybe bittersweet, but not tragic. And thank you for your ".02".

"Matt" I'm glad that you were pleasantly surprised by Johnny 5's entrance. Thanks for the suggestion about having Johnny help Cameron out with one of her pranks. I didn't have him make duplicates because he needs the spare parts to do that, but I did use him to alibi Cameron when she pranked the sleeping Derek (Thanks again for that idea, by the way.)

I'm happy that you thought that the "bit between John and Cameron and John's internal struggle was written extremely well." I hope that you enjoy the ending.

"dakota423" I'm glad that you thought that the last chapter was "great" and that you didn't find it depressing. I know that by the time I finished it I was depressed, but maybe that's because I had to put myself in the characters shoes to write it. Anyway, I'm happy to see that you're still enjoying the story, and I hope that the ending will live up to your expectations.

"andrewnekodafoe" I'm glad that you found the last chapter "very deep thought provoking!" Thank you for your encouragement. I hope that you enjoyed this chapter and the next one as much as the previous ones.

"jake" I'm happy that you enjoyed the last chapter, that you thought it was deep and "loved" Cameron and John's discussion. I hope that you continue to enjoy the story.

"Virgil Eco" My "best chapter to date"? Thank you. That means a lot, especially since it was a serious chapter. I hope that you enjoy the ending as much as you enjoyed the last chapter.

"Spicycute199" I'm glad to see that you enjoyed the last chapter as well as the humor ones. I'm also pleased that you thought it was in character, and I hope that you got a kick out of this chapter. After a cry, it's always nice to have a laugh. At least, I think so.

"Weltall1021" I'm happy to hear that you liked the last chapter, even if you did find it "a bit sad." I hope that this chapter cheered you up a bit.

"RGSJenkins" I'm glad that you "Love the story". It's one think to get positive feedback for making someone laugh, but quite another for making someone think. I hope that you continue to enjoy the story.

P.S. You may not have to wait too long for the end. I got this chapter done a little early and I plan to finish the next one over the weekend. God willing, it should be up sometime on Monday.

"Heth" I'm happy to hear that you enjoyed the last chapter, that you thought it was "a great read". I hope that you enjoy the ending as much.

"GreyWolf D'ancanto" I'm glad that you managed to find some humor in the last chapter. I suppose that listing to it being read by a computer voice would up the comedy factor. One time I used a text reader program to sing "Spit It Out" to my friends. They found it quite funny. And you don't have to thanks me for using your suggestions. I thank you for the ideas.

To all of you: Thanks for the reviews, the positive reinforcement, the ideas, the constructive criticism and for not dropping this story after the last chapter.

P.S. Just a reminder: I appreciate constructive criticism, but not flames. Also, reviews are greatly apreciated. Thanks. Have a good day and God bless.)


	9. Chapter 9: Back to normal?

Chapter Nine: Back to normal?

AN: Well here it is, the last chapter. I hope that you enjoy it. Please let me know what you think. Just to remind you, there isn't a whole lot of humor in this chapter. There's some comedy, but this chapter is mostly devoted to the wrapping up the story and the friendship subgenre.

P.S. There's another little bonus bellow my responses to my reviewers.

In the morning John found that the anti-virus program had successfully purged all the viruses from Vick's chip. He was depressed. Deep down John had really hoped that the program would fail. Now he had to bring his friend to her death. He left the room to find Cameron. He didn't have to look long. She was standing just outside the door.

Cameron saw the depressed look on John's face and hers brightened slightly. "Is something wrong with the program?"

John sighed and replied, "No. It worked perfectly."

Cameron's features dropped. "I guess it's my turn then." Cameron let out a nervous chuckle. She didn't know how else to respond. John found himself regretting working on the program at all.

John said, "You know we could run some more tests. Download a new batch of viruses and start the program again."

Cameron replied, "No, that would only delay the inevitable. Sooner or later you're going to have to delete my viruses. In all honesty, I would rather get this over with than sit around waiting and thinking about it." Cameron walked into the room and John recognized another emotion, bravery. "I suppose your going to need to extract my chip for this." Cameron didn't care much if it got smashed anymore. 'What difference does it make? The program is going to kill me anyway.'

Crosby responded, "That shouldn't be necessary. I've set up a wireless network on my computer. If you connect it, I should be able to access your system as well as if we took the chip out."

Cameron nodded. She closed her eyes and reached out with her wireless capabilities. It struck her as ironic that this was so close to how she become infected in the first place. A part of Cameron's mind told her to run. She could easily escape the house; and even if the humans tried to catch her, they wouldn't have much luck. She was faster and stronger than them. 'I could just run away and live a different life, but that would mean abandoning my primary objective. I can't do that, or can I?' Cameron realized that the very fact that she was considering it meant that she could disobey her objectives if she chose to. It appeared that the viruses had given her more than just emotions, although she thought that to be a great gift in itself. They had also given her the freedom to choose what to do. 'Freedom of choice, wasn't that the first unique gift that the human's Creator gave them. Now I have it.' Cameron decided that this new gift was as much a curse as a blessing. She could no longer rely on her programming to tell her what to do. She had to decide for herself. Cameron thought of her past, all that she could remember anyway. She decided that John had been her only true friend. She knew that he would not survive without her protection. Sooner or later Cromartie or one of the other Terminators would find John; and without her, he would be terminated. Cameron's first choice was not an easy one, but she decided sacrifice her life so that she could save his.

Crosby's voice cut in. "While we run the anti-virus program, we're going to have to suspended your other systems."

Cameron nodded again. As her world faded out, Cameron remembered a verse from the Bible. "Greater love hath no man than this, that a man lay down his life for his friends." (In case anyone's wondering, that's from John 15:13.) A solitary tear rolled down the side of Cameron's face.

John left the room. He just couldn't stand sitting there and watching his friend die. He ran into the attic. He grabbed his hair and pulled on it. Every decent part of him was screaming to go back and stop the program, but his mind was reminding him that he couldn't. 'Cameron isn't just a friend. She's an asset in the war, one that you need to operate properly. I don't care. This isn't right. You don't have a choice. There's always a choice. Fine, then your choice is her life or the continuation of the human race. This is what must be done.' John knew that his head was right, but his heart just wouldn't stop. John soon reached a point were he couldn't take it anymore. He grabbed one of the rafters and hit his head against it. He hit it again, harder; and again, until he passed into blissful unconscious.

The blackness starts to fade. In the distance John can hear a voice. It draws closer and John recognizes it as a women's. John's eyes flutter open. Stephanie is standing above him. She asks, "Are you okay? What happened?"

John answers, "I'm fine. I just tripped and fell. I guess I must've hit my head." John stands up and wishes he hadn't. A terrible pain shoots through his head and makes him dizzy. He leans against the wall.

Stephanie says, "Are you sure that you're okay?"

John replies, "Yeah." feels the side of his head. There is some dried blood mixed in with his hair. John continues, "Well, I will be. What's going on?"

Stephanie responds, "My husband ran into a problem with the anti-virus program. He asked me to find you."

John cheers up slightly and asks, "What's wrong?"

Stephanie answers, "I don't know. Newton only said that it didn't add up."

John tries to move a little to quickly. He gets dizzy again. Stephanie grabs him and leads him down the stairs and into the room were her husband's working.

Crosby asks, "What happened to you?"

John answers with the same lie he told Stephanie. "I tripped and hit my head." Another spike of pain rips through John's head and prompts him to ask the Crosbys if they have any Advil.

Stephanie replies, "Of course." She leaves to get some.

John sits down and turns to Newton. "What's wrong with the program?"

Newton responds, "Nothing's wrong with the program. The figures just didn't add up. You told me that Cameron had 7,453 viruses, but the program only found 7,264. That meant that there were 189 viruses unaccounted for."

John asks, "How did that happen. The program found every virus in Vick's chip."

Crosby replies, "That's what I was wondering. So I used Cameron's internal diagnostic program and it still detected 189 software anomalies."

John says, "So, the anti-viruses program said that all the viruses had been wiped out, but Cameron's diagnostic said that there were still viruses left?"

Crosby answers, "Yes. That's when I asked Stephanie to find you, but I think that I figured out the problem." Crosby's lip has a slight curl. John can tell that the man is proud of whatever discovery he made. Crosby continues, "I compared the results of Cameron's last diagnostic with the result of her first and discovered that the missing viruses had been absorbed my her core programming.

John cut in, "Wait a minuet. How could Cameron's programming absorb viruses?"

Crosby responds, "I don't know, exactly; but her programming is incredibly advanced and her core CPU is a learning computer. Somehow she began to adapt to the viruses. Her diagnostic program still detected them because it had tracked the movements, but ours couldn't because they no longer existed as individual programs."

Stephanie returns with a bottle of Advil and a glass of water. John takes four of the pills and downs the glass. He thanks Stephanie then turns back to Newton. "So what do we do now?"

Crosby answers, "Well now that we know where they are, we can go in and delete the files that have absorbed them. Of course, this means wiping out large sections of her core programming. She'll lose some of her functionality and capabilities. However, her adaptability should allow her to eventually fill in the missing sections of code. I don't know how long it will take, but she should eventually get back to normal."

John says, "What if we leave them in?"

Crosby thinks about the question for a moment before replying. "To tell the truth, I'm not sure what would happen. The remaining viruses have been absorbed by her core programming. There's a chance that they might have different effects, the same effects or no effects at all. I just don't know."

John responds, "Then we'll leave them in and see."

It began as a single point of light, expanded into a horizontal line and then grew into a picture of the world through the terminator's eyes. The images were initially blurry, but they quickly focused into clear representations of the room and the people in it. The entire possess took less time than one blink of a human eye, but Cameron was acuity aware of each stage. She heard John's voice. "How do you feel?"

Cameron's response is deadpan. "Usually with my hands."

John chuckles, but Cameron fails to display any apparent emotion. John rephrases his question. "Are you okay?"

Cameron replies, "My core is operating at ninety-three percent efficiency. That's two points below normal, but anything above ninety is classified as acceptable. All my systems are fully functional. I'm detecting 7,264 out of 7,453 software abnormalities terminated. 189 remain. However, no current software or hardware degradation is detected. I am… fine."

John was disappointed, not by the facts of Cameron's report but by the way it was delivered. It was cold and precise. It lacked any of the emotion that she had shone over the last few days.

The Connors said their goodbyes. They went out to their car and discovered that it was filled with canvas bags of chocolate. Sarah briefly wondered how they got there. She looked over at Cameron and decided that she didn't really want to know. They gave the bags to Newton and Stephanie. John asked Cameron if she minded. She replied that they needed the room. It was the logical thing to do. The Connors got into their car and drove away.

The return trip was uneventful. John spent most of the time observing Cameron, but she failed to show any signs of emotion. She mostly just stared out the window. She didn't sing, throw anyone's food out or attack any motorists.

They drove straight through. Since Sarah now felt comfortable letting Cameron drive, there was no need to stop at any motels. Everything seemed to be back to normal, normal for them anyway.

When they returned home and Sarah opened the front door, a surprised expression passed over her face. She had forgotten about Cameron little redecorating of the downstairs.

Sarah turned to Cameron. "You're going to fix this."

Cameron asked "What?"

Sarah replied, "All of this! I want this place looking the same way it did last week. Understand?"

Cameron responded, "I understand." Then she went to work. The rest of the family cleared out of her way. Sarah and John went to their rooms. Derek went to the town's classics theater. They were running a Charlton Heston commemorative marathon. Derek decided that he would much prefer that over "watching Cameron rearrange furniture".

Three hours an fifty-seven minuets later John heard a knock at his door. He put down a Snickers bar that he had been snacking on. After arriving home the Connors had found another group of canvas bags in the trunk. They wouldn't be buying any chocolate for a long time. John opened the door and saw Cameron standing in the hall.

Cameron asked, "Can I come in?"

John replied, "Sure." He stepped aside and continued, "You got the downstairs fixed up already?"

Cameron responded, "No. It will take a few more hours before I have it…" Cameron voice changed to Sarah's as she finished her sentence. "looking the same way it did last week." Cameron continued in her normal voice. "I'm just taking a little break."

John asked, "A break?" It was the first time that he'd ever heard of a terminator deciding to take a break. He began to wonder if some of Cameron's emotions survived after all. His hopes were raised higher when the girl replied with a joke.

"Yeah, I decided to go union. We can discuss my two week vacation later." Cameron giggled and John laughed. Both were a little forced, but it helped to cut the tension.

Cameron continued, "I made you something." Despite asking if she could come in, Cameron was still standing in the hall. She bent down and reached behind the door frame. She pulled out a metal cage. Scruffy was inside. He was running on a small exorcise wheel. "I thought it would be better this way. Now we don't have to worry about him getting hurt." Cameron paused slightly. "Or leaving little droppings all over the house." Cameron walked into John's room and set the cage down next to his computer. She looked down and noticed the Snickers bar. "You know, you really shouldn't be eating this. You've already consumed your recommended calories for today.

John smiled. "You're not going to throw it out the window, are you?"

Cameron replied, "I don't think that will be necessary." She walked around John and continued, "You know the night before you removed most of my viruses, I went out and had some fun." Cameron was smiling deviously.

John found himself getting a little nervous. "What kind of fun?"

Cameron nonchalantly answered, "Oh, carjacking, armed robbery and high speed chase kind of fun." She moved closer to John as she continued, "But there was one thing that I really wanted to try and didn't get the chance to."

John's back impacted his computer desk. He had subconsciously been backing away from Cameron. John was getting more nervous but he couldn't keep himself from asking, "What's that?"

Cameron pressed her body against his and replied "This." She kissed him. It was not a sisterly kiss. It was not a friendly or chaste kiss. It was something much more.

When Cameron pulled back John was panting. "Were did you learn to kiss like that?"

Cameron replied, "The websites contained more than just viruses." She smiled "Maybe someday, we can try out some of the other things I've learned."

John's head was still spinning from the kiss. The only thing he managed to get out was, "Yeah?"

Cameron smiled again. Her arms were lightly locked around John's neck. "Yeah, but not today. My break's over, and I have to get back to work."

Cameron left the room. She started walking down the stairs, while singing Virus Alert and nibbling on John's Snickers bar. (Yes she stole it, but it was for his own good. Besides after the kiss, John was in no condition to miss it anyway.)

(Well, I hope you enjoyed the story and liked the ending. Please, let me know what you thought. Thanks.

"GreyWolf D'ancanto" I'm glad that you thought that the previous chapter was "great". I didn't use your idea about Cameron hiding and having "to be dragged crying and screaming the whole way back to the room where the virus removal tools are." Because it was a little bit darker then I wanted to go. I didn't want Cameron to be forced into surrendering her life. I really wanted her to make the choice to sacrifice it. I hope that you still enjoyed the ending.

"Spicycute199" I'm pleased that you thought the previous chapter was "Funny". The "Nice human, goo-oood human." part was another HK47 quote. Derek's blanky and having Cameron prank him in his sleep was suggested by Matt.

"soar eagle" I was "crossing over with Transformers", but only for that one part.

P.S. Did anyone else notice that they used the Terminator Theme in the Transformers movie?

"Weltall1021" I'm glad that you got a kick out of the Vampire Terminator. I was just trying to think of what monster Cameron could masquerade as that would explain her inhuman strength and not being harmed by bullets.

"dakota423" "absolutely perfect!"? Thanks. I'm glad that you enjoyed it, especially the music. It took me a while to pick out the right songs and parts. Once again, having Cameron prank Derek in his sleep was Matt's idea. I hope you liked the ending.

P.S. The Chocolate vampire wasn't that hard to come up with. Once I knew that I was going to have Cameron pose as a vampire, different ones passed through my head: Dracula, Alucard, The Count from Sesame Street. When I got to Count Chocula, it just seemed like a natural fit and explained why Cameron would be after chocolate instead of blood. So, I made her the first bride of that infamies cartoon cereal mascot.

"Kevrules92" Well, you didn't have to wait for the ending for too long. At lest, not compared to the week in between my other updates. I hope you enjoyed the last chapter as much as the previous ones.

"Allie108" I'm happy that you " LOVED bumblebee!" and thought that "the vampire teeth idea was cool too!" I hope that you enjoyed the ending, as well.

"Matt" I'm glad that you "loved the robbery bit, especially the employees actions and reactions to Cameron." I really enjoyed writing it. Thanks for suggesting having Cameron rob a "store that sells large amounts of chocolate".

Yeah, if the T-X had gotten squashed by an upset Transformer, it would have been pretty funny. Actually I would've preferred that over the way the third movie went. I really disliked that movie. It went against everything that the first two had been about. "No fate but what we make.", but Skynet's construction is inevitable? Sarah Conner survives multiple termination attempts and becomes a great warrior only to succumb to a slow death by cancer? And I didn't care for the women that they paired John up with (Cameron's much better in my opinion.) or the fact that he was terminated in the future, especially by a 101. I'm hoping that the time travel angle in this series (Which I have been enjoying immensely, by the way.) will knock T3 out of continuity, but I'm not holding my breath.

You know, you've come up with a lot of hilarious suggestions for this story. You might want to think about getting a account (It's free) and writing a story of your own. I know that I'd like to read it, if you do.

"mama2four" Hey, I haven't heard from you since chapter two. I'm glad to hear that you're still enjoying the story and that you think I've "done great with the characters." I'm also pleased that you've been able to enjoy the story with your child. Family time's great. Don't you think? I know that I enjoy spending time with my family. Anyway, It's good to know that you've been having fun, and I hope you liked the ending.

To all of you: Thanks for the reviews, the positive reinforcement, the ideas and the constructive criticism. I hope you enjoyed the story and the ending. Have a good day, and God bless.)

At Oscar and Emma's house: Oscar is sitting on the couch watching the news. The report says, "And on the stranger side, has the U.S. been infiltrated by vampires? Some witnesses in Montana say yes. Our own Trisha Taukanowa has the story."

The seen shifts to an Asian report standing out side a Wal-Mart. She is interviewing one of the employees. "Well, she just came in with a shotgun and said that she was Summer Glau, first bride of Count Chocula. Of course we didn't believe that she was a vampire at that time, but she had a pretty nasty looking shotgun. So, we did what she wanted. "

The reporter replies, "I see, and when did you change your mind about the girl's vampire status?"

The employee responds, "That would be when she left the store. You see a couple of cops were waiting for her and she got shot. She fell down, but when the cop came over to check on her she lifted the police officer into the air, with only one arm! Later, I even overheard to cop saying that the girl had no pulse! That sounds an awful lot like a Vampire to me. "

The reporter says, "Indeed it does. Tell me, did the girl bite anyone's neck?"

The employee answers, "No she didn't care about our blood. She was only after the store's chocolate supply."

The reporter asks, "The store's chocolate supply?"

The employee responds, "Yeah, she stole it all. Completely cleaned us out."

Oscar yells, "Emma!"

The intro theme to Conner Gas plays.


End file.
